I found this little article and I thought it had some great key points. Have a read and tell me what you think.

"Low self-esteem is all too common a problem. The reality is, each of us is unique, special, beautiful and amazingly talented, but it seems that no one ever tells us this! As a result, we forget it, too. It’s sometimes easy to concentrate only on our mistakes, failures and weaknesses.

Low self-esteem can lead us to accept bad treatment from others, use drugs or alcohol or make other damaging decisions for ourselves. We may feel we don’t even know who we are or where our life is going.

When we improve self-esteem, many new opportunities open up for us: we may decide to try something new and exciting, we may feel more confident meeting new people, or we are better able to work on other problems (if we have any). Better self-esteem is key to a more satisfying life.

Improving how you feel about yourself is a three-pronged approach. There are some things you can do to help yourself in the short-term (#1) but they are not the whole answer. The deeper issues (#2 & #3) should be explored with your therapist. The goal is feeling better about who you are and feeling good about your life and how you’re living it.

1. The following activities sometimes help people feel better about themselves in the short-term. See if any of them sound interesting to you. If so, why not try them.
volunteer helping others
learn a new skill
improve an existing skill
do something to improve your appearance buy some new clothes, have your hair cut or colored, etc. (Sometimes “look good” = “feel better.”)
make your home more comfortable or more “you”
reduce your stress (easier said than done—ask your therapist for tips)
be kind to yourself; do something nice just for you
use positive self-talk; stop negative thoughts
avoid negative people
seek out people who like and respect you
avoid activities where you are sure to fail (don’t set yourself up for failure)
find activities you are likely to succeed at
try to have a sense of humor about yourself
make a list of things you really like about yourself
make a list of your accomplishments

2. More lasting improvements in how you feel about yourself can come when you explore with your therapist how past experiences may have brought you to feel the way you do about yourself. This takes time and trust in your therapist, but it’s worth it.

3. Also, having a clearer idea of what you want your life to be and who you really are can make you feel stronger and more confident. With your therapist, you can discuss how to live “authentically”—how to really be yourself—and to think about what your purpose in life is. During this process you may want to write a "Personal Mission Statement" for yourself."

Dawniepants

My Goal in life is to be as good of a person as my pug already thinks I am

Personal Mission Statement.

I think this is interesting, have any of you ever done it. Your personal mission statement charts what you want to do, visualising what you would like from your life in the future from the small things to the large dreams and plans. Mission statements can be in many parts and there is no right or wrong way. Its an exercise for you and you alone.

Does anyone want to do their own or share one with us?

xx

CL-Dawniepants -CL Love Your Body

 

 

I've printed this off to have a good read through and think about.

For my PM Statement, the first think that springs to mind is sorting out my job situation.  I am in a FT job at the moment, which I dont like.  I've only been doing it for just over a year, and I've never felt comfortable since day one really.  This is mainly down to lack of confidence on my part and not knowing what to do and how to do it.  I've been applying for jobs and had a few interviews but nothing yet.

I would love to work PT, so I can fit in 'life' some fun things for me and DD,  I hate this rat race!! 

Ceri

I really like this PM Statement. I think its a really focused one which is so so helpful! Self esteem is hard and I think we arent used to being complimentary towards ourselves because we interpret others opinions of that as being boastful.

Inward confidence is such a beautiful thing and I can relate to that feeling of feeling uncomfortable in your work environment through lack of confidence. I think your mission statement is very very positive, now have you done yourself an action plan. It could be like this.

I am going to start by looking at job websites, I am going to see what jobs I would like to do and see if I need to retrain for them. I am going to apply for jobs that I would love to have etc etc...

It can focus your thinking further

xx

xx

CL-Dawniepants -CL Love Your Body

 

 

Hey Dawnie,

Good thread.

I don't know if you've come across this book "The Psychology of Success" by Judith Leary-Joyce. I "won" it via a chat here on iVillage and it is very interesting. I like the way she talks about having many "peaks" of success. So in life we're not just working towards one big goal to define our lives, achievements and who we are but that there are many challenges and opportunities to conquer. Some may be big, some may be small but there is always the chance to push ourselves further in whatever aspect of our life we want to develop.

One thing I'm doing at the minute is being more sociable. It's coming up to that time of the year where we see some people that we don't see at any other time and there is always the "we should do this more often" conversation. Well, over the past few weeks we've been doing that, putting ourselves out there and making the first move. And the response has been overwhelming - not one person has declined an invitation to go out and do something or have us over for a chat. It has been amazing. Doing things makes things happen. And the more we do, the more opportunities are opening up for us, we've getting return invitations already to do all manner of things, from going to the pub to gigs to invitations to go away on holiday! As a consequence our pre-Christmas socialising starts this weekend!

Maybe not fully on topic but it's my example of how taking a small step can provide a real boost! I'll give some thought to the other things...