Hi Ladies,

I am looking for a few tips here on surviving what i have just realised is a potential minefield.

My little boy is 3 1/2 and at pre school. We are both veggie and have decided to bring the kids up veggie, they can make their own decision when they are old enough to understand and make a choice for themselves. Today was the first of the birthdays in my little boys class. The mum of the birthday child had sent in a small bag of haribo for each child. Luckily the teacher is veggie as well so checked with me first and of course they are not suitable. I am very proud to say my little boy was happy to bring home a shiney apple from the snack bowl instead of sweets.

The mother herself was offended and couldnt grasp why sweets were not suitable which makes me think about parties and jelly, silver balls on cakes etc. Does anybody have any tips on how to handle this, other than just explaining to the parent involved at the time? I dont think my little boy is old enough to understand which things not to eat.

TIA!

sorry I haven't really got any advice as I have decided on the opposite - although my son will be on a mostly vegan diet (as i do the cooking), he won't be entirely veggie as I know he won't understand at a young age why he can't have something that everyone else is having. I could see myself sending him off to parties with his own food as if he had an allergy and i didn't think it would be fair on him.

i became a veggie at 7 and generally didn't eat anything at friend's parties as I didn't trust adults to give me something veggie until other teenagers became veggie - I would hope it was better now than 20 years ago but a lot of veggies still eat gelatine and also don't seem to realise that fish isn't a veggie option either. so what hope have non veggies got to understand?

K

I was at a party a few years ago, when my boys were 3 and 4 and there was a veggie child there.  The mother left her child at the party (it was her neighbour's child's party and the child was happy to be left) and I was quite shocked that the neighbour offered the child a meat sausage knowing full well that the child didn't eat meat at home and made a jokey comment about the mother never knowing!  I didn't know either mother very well so didn't feel it was my place to inform the mother when she returned to pick up her child but it did make me decide to stay with my children at parties while they were young just to check that they weren't given things to eat that I didn't want them to eat!

As for party bags, my boys are meat-eaters but I don't like them eating cr&p so when they were younger I just removed the rubbish from the party bags before they could eat it.

Merith xxx

Hi,

We have the same dilemma, my DD is nearly 5 and we constantly have to think ahead. Parties are a minefield! Party bags i do slight of hand swap for her.

I know alot of people who call themselves vegetarian yet do eat gelatine, each to their own but not our way.

I NEVER leave my child at a party without me, mainly due to the comment that another poster put, i have heard this too and, sadly, believe that some people are so challenged by a different way of eating that they have to belittle or directly set out to sabotage.

For parties we take out own supplies to substitute in exactly the same way that another mother who happened to have a child with a special diet would, gluten free/dairy intolerant etc. We've discovered that ready made jelly in a pot (robinsons) is vegetarian, no idea why but great! Party rings are a nightmare and i feel like a nasty mummy when i say no, jammie dodgers sub.

It can be difficult not to offend, we say 'we're vegetarian, thank you for the thought but the manufacturers still use meat based products' that way it becomes the manufacturers who are wrong rather than the person. Sometimes, like when someone in a restaurant gives a treat we smile sweetly and say thank you and then do not eat but get something more appropriate later. My dd is fine with this.

i'd say stay with your child and teach him early that sometimes choosing to not eat animals means that you aren't allowed some things. My DD is now old enough to grasp this and will actively ask an adult to check if something has gelatine in (YEAH!!!)

Good luck,

Oh yes, JELLY TOTS are my secret weapon - they're veggie!!!! Work as a sub for almost anything offered! Keep some close and hidden at all times!!!!!!

xx