Hi folks

I'm still living with the alcoholic, but a recent binge drinking session of his, really showed me what progress I've made in detaching from HIS drinking problem.

He'd had one and two thirds bottles of wine at lunch and by 4 p.m. was slurring his speech. He was due to visit his mother and I suggested he didn't drive as he was probably still drunk from lunch but cycle instead and he completely LOST IT. I mean; ranting, raving, shouting and being completely loony. "It was MY fault he was drunk, MY responsibility to monitor his drinking, MY assupmtion he was an alcolholic becasue he liked a glass or two of wine," and he rung his mother in a fit of pique and refused to go there and blamed me for allowing him to get drunk and then waiting until 4pm to tell him he was too drunk to drive.

My god it was laughable and wonderfully, wonderfully I could see it ALL for the pathetic refusal to take any reposibility for his drinking at all that it truly was. 

I didn't lose my temper or get angry becasue I KNEW this wasn't my fault. OK, so it was a very unhappy time, but I didn't even try to row or reason with him I just told him to go away and leave me alone. Quite calmly too! lol!

OK, so I HATE what he did and thank god he didn't try to drive like that, but I am pleased I was able to KNOW it wasn't my fault like he was trying to protray it as. Progress indeed. Oh, and if the alocoholic in your lives tries to make it your fault ladies - just make sure you tell yourself that it damn well isn't. AND BELIEVE IT!

Oh it's hard isn't it but no matter how crazy we fell...it's not our fault cos we didn't cause it, we can't control it and wecan't cure it!
You behaved with dignity and that's wonderful but really...why do we do this to oursleves?

I refuse to make excuses...one time my dh was so pissed he fell over during the day and i refused to take him to his mum's as planned in the afternoon ( thankfully he doesn't drive so we don't have to have that argument at least!)

I drove over to her, with her grandchild and told her that he was too pished to come. It felt like such a relief to tell..he wasn't ahappy that I was honest but I don't want to do secrets with family.

GoD I rambled!

Anyway...I agree, we keep our power when we don't behave all crazy so well done you!

Hi Mellers,

I had been thinking of you, my brother has been acting up again too (read my 'the last straw' thread and you will see)

(((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))) you did well.

Well done you realising its not your fault is a big step.

Well done Mellers!

That really is great progress for you :-)

As horrible as these "incidents" are and lets face it,they are not normally pleasant,good on you for not rising to him and just walking away and being able to see it clearly.

Are you still going to Al-Anon? xx