Hi guys

Been a long time since I posted so thought I would. Well, Im still working and its going ok, though have had some pretty hectic shifts, and we are nearly always short staffed and so at times there is short cuts like the 2:1 children only get 1:1 etc and it can be quite hard work then..

Im finding the days a little tough at the moment, as I dont seem to have anyone to talk to about things, and my friends dont contact me or are in relationships themselves and feel like Ive slipped off the radar totally....I know they go out, but I dont get asked at all..

Im feeling quite bad about myself, and am constantly looking for ways I can improve..physically speaking..clothes, what i can do to my hair etc...but nothing shifts the way I feel about myself and that is a frumpy, 34 year old..I dont see that I could be attractive to the opposite sex and so have stopped even considering it, if you get what I mean...I dont know if this is depression or a semi mid life crisis!! My son is 14 now so is growing up fast and doesnt need me so much..

I suffered a lot when I was a teen from being obsessive out my appearance (due to a specific 'flaw' I had) and this never seems to have gone away...I rarely feel good about myself and I usually wake in the mornings feeling dreadful...

Just wanted to sound off a bit in the hope that others can relate or have any suggestions?!

love

Free Glitter Text Maker

Hugs Woody,

I think we can all relate to what you are saying. I think we have all hit that stage where everything and everyone else comes first and we lapse into not bothering and also feeling like we are not worth bothering about . Add depression and stress to that and we do end up feeling low.

I am sure that you are not at all frumpy, that is just the depression talking. It ribs us of our self esteem.

Not sure I have any practical suggestion other than love yourself more, you are a special person so don't lose sight of that.

Jillxx

Hi Woody good to see you again.

You sound like you have been working there years. Really getting into it and gaining experience from it all.

Oh you'd be surprised what appeals to the opposite sex. For every type of woman there are men somewhere who want that kind of woman. Sometimes all you have to be is a woman, the rest of the picture is part of being a woman which can be appealing for being part of the package.

The trick and the hard part is being content with who you are. That and being open to being approached, friendly, smiling etc.

Do I know what the flaw is you are talking about ? I can't remember it. Are you comfortable talking about it ? No problem if you aren't.

So really it sounds like you need to find some way to work on your confidence which will stem from your thoughts and the way you think about yourself. Bit of a vicious circle isn't it. If you thought better of yourself your confidence would increase and you'd think better of yourself.

There are confidence boosting dvds you can get and maybe hypnotherapy too. Some of these dvds are self hypnosis ones which may help or at least be worth considering.

Hugs
Owly x

From Owly x

"The harder you fall, the higher you bounce."

CL on :-

Coping with Depression

Overcoming Stress

Paranormal Experiences

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Hi Owly,

Thanks for your reply. Havent been on for a bit. I do feel like Ive been working there longer to be honest, although I dont feel like Im regarded the same as the full timers..just what I pick up. Though I do try and do my best on my shift and put in as much as I can.

Am still feeling somewhat low, and today have a dodgy tum which is making me feel bleurgh..
Am finding it hard to relax and really found it difficult to sit down and watch a dvd all the way through with my son last night..kept getting up and couldnt concentrate at all...he kept pausing it when went out the room bless him! I am feeling quite rundown and stressing about a few things financial, but cannot do anything about them until I receive my payslip from work, which will be when I go in this week hopefully.

I really need to change my car, but just have not got the money right now, and that is worrying me too what with the winter coming, and the heater not working! will be really fun when theres a frost...

Im finding it hard to be positive about my life and really feel like Im in a sort of crisis...I envy those younger who have their whole life ahead of them, and can make decisions about what they want to do. Am so fed up of being on my own, never having anything to look forward to, or anyone to share things with. Spend so much time on my own these days, not out of choice though. DS is growing up fast and has his own life, and I just dont know what mine is about, if that makes sense?

Does anyone else feel like this? Am struggling to find the meaning to it all.

love

Free Glitter Text Maker

Hi Woody,
Could be a mixture of your own feelings of being new and being aware of their awareness of you being new and also not a full timer.. all part of what it means to be a HSP.. a highly sensitive person. This isn't a fault by the way... being sensitive, it's a bonus and serves us well a lot of the time but there is a price to pay and it's being able to pick up on things that you can't put a finger on.

Watch out for overdoing things to meet what you feel you want from them. They may be the sort of people to never give it. It won't mean you don't deserve it and you definitely won't need to work doubly hard to be viewed as a good worker. That's the thing that drives the best workers into burnout. Those that don't care don't suffer from that. The fact that you do care shows that you are a good worker and that you could be likely to overdo things.

From time to time at home or at work just turn your mind to your tum and deliberately relax the muscles there. Then do the same in your shoulders. These little reminders through the day should help relax you for a time.

Sounds like your concentration is being affected and this can happen when we are stressed. As I read on I saw that you had actually written that you recognised you were suffering from stress. What you can do to help reduce this is to reduce the overload your senses are experiencing. That applies to all your senses so try to reduce the effect by lying down in a very darkened room in absolute silence or with very low calming music playing. Tell yourself that doing this is important and is a must for you. It will help you deal with other things if you can give your senses a rest.

Bombarding your senses with more words to listen to, more stories to follow, more images to look at etc etc will mean your body starts to switch itself off which is probably why you are finding it hard to concentrate.

Every minute you get through takes you nearer to getting your pay slip. Feel good that you have managed to get through another minute, another hour, another day. You're actually doing it... you are getting through it and coping albeit suffering through the pressure of having to.

Your life could be going through a quiet phase. It doesn't mean it will always be that way but while it's lasting it feels like it will be forever. You will reach the moment of change when things will speed up and start happening but for now for whatever reason it is meant to, you are having to pretty much shut down. Try to make the most of it. When you are stronger and less drained you will be in a better position to do more and that could be the time when things begin to change for the better for you.

Don't strive inside to have everything happening at once right now for you. Life holds suprises in store for us and it's the waiting that makes them worth more when they come.

Hugs
Owly x

From Owly x

"The harder you fall, the higher you bounce."

CL on :-

Coping with Depression

Overcoming Stress

Paranormal Experiences

Astrology & You

Carers & Cared For