Hi All

Just had to come on the board and offload again. I feel like I'm heading for a meltdown and I'm not sure what to do. I've just spent the weekend trying to relax and I have been a bit stressed at work, but today when I got to work I was in such a bad mood. I ended up being a bit snappy with a work colleague and I feel just awful. I'm really not sure why I'm feeling like this. I want to try and control it but I feel like it's taking over me.

I'm so fed up. I don't know what to do with myself. I feel so uptight and on edge and I don't want to go hurtling down the pit again.

This morning I was thinking that I'm always the one who shows how much I care and I worry about other people. Sometimes I wish that someone would do that for me. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone and I thought I was getting back on an even keel again. It's like all these monsters are coming out of the woodwork to get me and I don't know how to stop them.

I'm sure it sounds a bit of a mad mess, but that's how I feel at the moment. Topsy, turvy and I can't really explain why. I just don't know who I am anymore.

Thanks for listening. I just needed to get it out of my head I suppose.

Pxxx

HI there petal, don't know if you feel like a reply or not. Talk to the work colleague today and say sorry that you snapped. Chances are they will have forgotten about it but it will make you feel better. Needn't explain much to the colleague, just say you were having a bad day.

Where are you in terms of medication and counselling at the moment? Sorry I usually remember this stuff but I am in a bad place myself. Maybe you need to see the GP to improve/change meds or whatever. LOL does that make sense?

Remember you can always count on this board to offload your problems and get support. My real life friends don't know half what goes on, i feel safer sharing in a place like this.

hugs andm uffins

Ah thanks for the reply Tabbs

I'm feeling a lot better today.  Had a good cry and a bath with some essential oils in it - bergamot is my favourite.  Had a good night's sleep and I did send a text to my friend to apologise and said I was a bit stressed.  She did very nicely text back and say tomorrow is another day, so that made me feel better :0)

I'm currently on 75mg of venlafaxine and actually start cbt sessions next week, so I will mention the way I've been feeling to the lady who I'm seeing.

Thanks so much for posting.  You're right about this being a safe place to post.  I don't tell my friends and family what's going on.  They know I'm stressed, but I don't tell them everything else that's going on in my head and it's good to brain dump on here :0)

I hope you're ok Tabbs.  Don't forget to post on here yourself because you need care and attention too.

Take care,

Pxxx

Hi P,
You may feel as if you need to do something but the real thing to do is to do less. In fact the less you do the more you give your body a chance to catch up a bit. When you start feeling like you're close to meltdown you need to shutdown as much as you possibly can.

Strangely enough it's very similar to something I'm finding with my computer... I have tons of little windows open and it's causing my computer to run slower. As I'm going through and shutting them down it's allowing my machine to work better. Today I was sure it was going to crash completely.

Hmm, funny how these parallels crop up isn't it.

Maybe you need to see what you can 'switch off' and enable you to function better as a result.

Spending time quietly relaxing, not striving for results of any sort and keeping things balanced can make a difference. Sleeping better also helps us cope with the day to follow.

If you're feeling like a volcano about to blow then you need to redirect the flow of frustration into other things so maybe going for a walk would help or bashing a few pillows or screaming into a cushion will help too.

Oh and bear in mind that when you decide to have a break and do nothing it is often good to actually do nothing at all, I mean don't sit in front of the tv because that can be too stimulating at times and you might benefit from absolute peace in a darkened room.

Hugs
Owly x

From Owly x

"The harder you fall, the higher you bounce."

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Hi Owly

Thanks for your post.  If only I'd read about going and lying down in a darkened room earlier :0)

I've had a meltdown at work today.  In a meeting.  I was trying to put my point of view across and outline what happened on a project last year and my colleague thought that I was undermining her.  It was on a video conference link to another office with another colleague.  We had to adjourn for a short time to change rooms and when this happened my colleague asked if I had a problem with the project and I said that I didn't and that I felt that she was stamping on my ideas.  Personally I do feel as though the project has been completely whisked out of my hands and I have no control over it anymore, which is supposed to be my job!  When the meeting resumed, I didn't say anything as thought it would be safer to keep my mouth shut and then when I was asked a question I started to crack so had to leave the room.  We've since cleared things up by email, but I do feel like I was feeling the pressure and I think that I wanted to try and gain some control.  I am feeling particularly sensitive at the moment, but also the lady in question can be very difficult to work with.

I've always been able to pinpoint what is the trigger before, but I'm having trouble doing that at the moment.  I will try and turn off like you say.  I just feel so disappointed in myself for not handling things well at all at the moment and especially for letting it impact on my work. 

Maybe I'll try the darkened room tonight :0)

Thanks again and I hope you're ok.

Pxx