Hello.. (just want to say, I did post this on another board originally as I didn't see this one.... :-)

I'm new to this particular board and just want some advice or comments..

Married first time for 17 years, was diagnosed during that time with PCOS, and also from an HSG, discovered I have a blocked tube, scar tissue.  Docs didn't want to put me on clomid due to cysts and also I was carrying a lot of weight.

Well, the weight didn't come off, my mum passed away and all tests etc., just got put on backburner - without my mum, didn't want to even think about kids.  Then a few years later got divorced.

Now with my second husband, living in Dubai.  He doesn't really want children, but if it happens, it happens.  He would try if I wanted to, but of course I know for me it's going to be difficult.  His sister has a son, 1 year old, who is just so lovely and every time I see him I just get broody.    My husband doesn't seem to understand how I feel, that I get sad as I think I would make a good mum.

To make things worse, earlier this year I missed a period, check up - no, i wasn't pregnant.  Told doc my history, thoughts that I'm starting menopause.  Mum started in her mid 40s.

My cycles had always been regular then, every 28 days. 

Back to present.  Last month I was a week late.  This month haven't had one, was due on 20th October.  Did a preg test yesterday, negative.  Mood is from hell, breasts sore and I feel like s**t LOL. 

Do I go see docs and get menopause confirmed, think they can do a blood test, or just leave it and see what happens.  Not sure if it's worth doing anything about PCOS, sort of got used to having it - acceptance - and as for conceiving, basically given up.  Situation is not good at moment, a bit depressed but this could be the hormones, and in next couple of years really want to get back to UK.

Thanks for reading...

Hugs,

Feli xx

Hi all,

It's me again... just been reading some of the other older posts... noticing the symptons I have pretty much the same as others.. occasionally i get the flushes, insomnia like you wouldn't believe, generally awake til 5am and then finally sleeping until 10 or 11am, but if depressed I don't even see the point of getting out of bed.  And as I said, my mood is just horrendous.  Normally I'm ok, anything bothers me I get it off my chest and I'm ok.  Pretty much a positive optimistic person and can tolerate many things but lately some things have been really bugging me, too much, and feel like being really nasty and rude to those around me.  Tend to just withdraw completely, escaping to my pc to chat to you or watch films, managing just to socialise enough to cook food then that's it, i want my space, a dark room and no speaking. (Am going through a few issues, as I said, but usually I could cope with this). 

I don't feel myself and hate my mood when it's like this as I know i am not pleasant to be around.  And to be honest, DH is really irritating me, partly personal, partly mood swing. And normal high sex drive gone to zero!

Other symptons, weight gain - wooh, where did all THAT come from!!!  Puffy ankles, tender breasts etc.

I do so want this to be the peri-menopause, I want to be able to blame this for my mood swings as if it's not, then I'm really not in a good place at the moment and that is worrying (personal life n all).

Hugs to all

Feli xx

P.S.  Oh.. i emailed my DH some info about supporting wife going through this... so far he hasn't said he's read it, hasn't mentioned it and he's at his computer.  If he doesn't mention it then he'll irritate me even more for being so bloody insensitive!!!  Pretend it's not happening!!!  Leave her alone and it'll go away!!!

Hi Feli,

welcome to the board. It does sound like you might be entering the perimenopause but your doctor should be able to do a simple blood test to measure your FSH levels ( follicle stimulation hormones) as this gives quite an accurate quide to how far alone the path you are.

Mood swings, depression, don't get us started! LOL It seems to go with the territory. Also so women have to deal with their declining fertility and the effects that has on them emotionally. It does sound very much like you might be facing that side of the coin, I am sorry :-(

Men can be so ignorant to our needs. I don't think it is a personal thing but whilst they know what we face they don't understand what it feels like so being supportive is often more miss than hit.

Come talk to us, we'd love to help you through this and you will be most welcome here.

Jillxx

Hello Jill,

Thanks so much for replying.

Yes, think it is too, always been so regular with periods and it just all seems to tie up together.

My mood was much better today, thank goodness, just a couple of irritations, but 'well' enough to have a little of 'how's your father' LOL.  These moody periods are so debilitating as I really don't want to do anything and sometimes wished I lived on my own so I could do just that - nothing, no meals to prepare, no housework, just stay wrapped up in my warm cosy little world of a bed.  I was thinking tonight how we like to skip a day off work sometimes, well wouldn't it be nice if we could skip a day off a day.. actually, I don't want to do Saturday - wake me up when it's Tuesday LOL!

Anyway, husband had read the email I sent him and he said that he knew about the symptoms but I had a little moan because if he knew, then where was the sympathy or compassion.  His answer was, "I thought you wanted to be left alone, that you didn't want to speak to anyone!"  Poor men, they can never win can they.

I explained to him what was going on, how long it could last, and that I simply needed his support.  His first question was, are there any drugs you can take (I'm sure he's thinking... oh God... just put her on something so she's not this ratty miserable cow... anything!!!!).  I said, yes - bananas!

Think I'm going to start a diary of these mood swings and any issues going on with me so I can differentiate between it being a bad day or there really is an issue to look at.

As for the fertility issues I think I just have to accept I will be childless.  Really, neither of us are in a position to have a child now - living here in the UAE where jobs are unstable, no benefits system, and me wanting desperately to get back to UK, things would just get a tad complicated. 

Well, that's about it from me for now.

Really looking foward to becoming part of this wonderful community.

Thanks for reading and hugs to you and all Jill (hope you had a good day today!!!)

Feli xx

Hi Feli,

bananas are brilliant for mood swings. There are also many herbal remedies and there is also HRT. I think you need to decide which will help you best. I do believe though you are affected by very different drugs ruling where you are.

Just think of this as a new start, not the end. Its a pain to go through but we will come out the other side.

Jillxx