Hi

I guess my tittle says it all. I need help. I promise myself every night tomoz will be different, but it never is and i want to change now i have an 8 month old daughter. I managed to control my bulimia before i found i fell pregnant and had stopped totally, but after having my baby and having put on 4 stone going from a size 6/8 to a 14 the feelings of being fat and a failure all came back to me, i thought my fiancee wouldn't fancy me anymore and so it all started again.

Am back at a size 8/10 now which am happy with, but i don't seem to be able to control it without being sick and taking laxatives.  I don't want to be like this, but i don't have the strength to tell anyone face to face about it, i don't want to dissapoint anyone, and i don't want people thinking am a bad mum.

My daughter is the most important thing to her, and i keep thinking why can't i stop this for her, i should be able to stop for her, but its like am not in control, i go to the bathroom after eating in a daze like i do it without even thinking about it!

I think bingeing is the worst, i don't even understand why i do it? Why can't i just stop after a few crisps why do i feel the need to   continue eating and eating?

I have started to eat healthy foods and keep them down, but its hard being able to make helathy foods, like salads etc when were short on money.

Please if you can help me i really would be grateful . I need to be able to speak to people that have or have had the same problems as me!

I know am wrecking my body, but i just can't seem to stop!

thanks

k

 

 

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Hello and welcome to the board,

your little daughter must be a wonderful addition to your life and she needs a lovely healthy mummy so lets see what we can do to help.

Firstly, try stop taking those laxatives. The long term damage is not something you want to deal with, beleive me. I think you need to be brave and go to your GP and tell him very honestly what you are doing. If he knows the full picture then he can help you before this gets so totally out of hand. I know it is hard but he won't judge you and no one will think you are a bad mum. The opposite in fact, because you are showing that you have the sense to know you need help.

Please go and see your  GP and come and talk to us too for support.

Jillxx

Hi K,

welcome to the board and well done for posting and thank you for telling us.

Congratulations on your baby girl. I always think it must be such a life changing thing to have a baby, so i think you've done amazingly well to adapt and get through those first few months.

Jill has given you some great advice, and i don't think i can add anything. It sounds as though you need some support at the moment with your eating and relationship with food -and your gp is almost certainly the best person to chat with about this.

We're here for you too, if you want to share how you are feeling. I think it's really common for our relationship with food to be closely linked to how we are feeling. I know, for example, that when i am feeling anxious i am more likely to try to want to control my food, and when i am feeling sad or upset i am less likely to want/remember to eat. I sometimes think that if we are able to identify how we are feeling and find other ways to cope with those feelings then it can help the food reaction. Don't know if that helps at all.

Hon, i have a favour to ask of you. We try on this board not to mention numbers -weights, sizes etc. It's just that we all focus on these too much, and can be a bit sensitive about them, when they really aren't important at all. Would you mind editiing out the numbers in your post.

Please let us know how you are doing.

xx