Hello Everyone,

I have suffered from anxiety and panicky disorder since I was 10 yrs old. I was bullied at school and I think thats where it all started. Since the age of 12 I was put on Chlomipramine (Anafranil) and at the age of 18 put on a beta blocker to stop palpitations.
7 weeks ago I went to the doctor and told her that the horrible thoughts i was having for a few years were getting worse and actually affecting my everyday life, it got to be I couldnt go out to the shops or go out with my mum but I was desperate to get home and take more pills to stop the anxiety.
My doctor put me on a new drug that I heard a friend was on and she said it had stoppped her thinking horrible things that made her anxious..so I mentioned to the doctor and she agreed that we would try it. It was really good and the obsessive thoughts are gone but there are horrible things happening to me, I don't know if its because for 19 years I was on a sedative and now I'm not but my mind is running at 100mph I can't sleep I am so agitated and I am getting visual disturbances,things look slanted to one side, I have problems with memory, I am more anxious than ever and I have a bit of agrophobia where I want to stay at home or my mums home I dredd going anywhere cos I know the anxiety and panicky feelings will start. I am exhausted and feel that if I dont start to relax soon I will lose it completely. When I watch T.v or listen to someone talking I can talk along with them in my head and its really scaring me, I have a terrible fear of going insane so when these things are happening I start to get so worked up into a state and I can't seem to rationalise normal thinking from obsessive.
I think it may be because the doctor put me on a higher dose very quickly and the side effects are awful, I'm starting to wish I hadnt mentioned different medication but the other stuff wasnt working anymore.
Yes this new drug (CITALOPRAM) is great at getting unwanted thoughts out my head but all the other things that are happening are really scaring me...what should I do?
19 years on the same drug then suddenly on something different maybe the answer and these side effects may go away, but am i losing my mind? Its been 19 years since Ive had to deal with all this anxiety again and I'm not coping very well..I have an appointment with the doctor in a few weeks...maybe I'll half the dose till then see what happens..I still take beta blockers and am on a stronger dose to help with the anxiety but it slows my heart rate so much I am dizzy....please help or advise, am I the only one who feels like this?

Suzy x

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Hi Suzy Only came on this board, with my CL badge off, to winge about my phobias. Then I saw you had posted and not got a reply. I CL a few boards, including Coping with Depression.

I have suffered all my life with depression, anxiety, panic attacks and phobias. Not funny is it? Don't really have time to chat now. I am off to the dentist in a little while. One of my major phobias and the reason I came on this board this morning.

Maybe we can chat more later. Hope you get to pick up on this post.

Hi There...thanks for replying, i thought I was really crazy when no one replied and I felt more alone in my struggles, but apparently not, I am feeling a bit better now though as my medication seems to be taking effect although I still get strange side effects with them.
I see things out the corner of my eye (that aren't there) and everything looks uneven (not straight) its really weird, I'm sometimes taking a few seconds to get words right in my head when I read something its like I don't know the words and am struggling to understand it.
I've got it into my head that I have a brain tumour and have had lots of headaches over a year like Neuralgia at one side, but this all started with the new pills (Citalopram) I was on a sedative for 19 years and was fine but when they were not as good anymore for the obsessive thoughts I went to the doctor about it and she changed them.
I wish I hadn't now as I am so opposite to what I was A lazy slob always sleeping and eating to being hyperactive and can't sleep is this just the difference in effects with these new pills I dunno, I'm so afraid all the time that I'm losing my mind or something bad will happen to me I just need a break from it all, people who are not like me don't know how lucky they are to be "Normal" I 'm ranting now sorry....thanks for listening and keep in touch

Suzanne xx

I get very similar experiences to you, neuralgia, can't think straight or make sense of what I am reading. LOL that is especially frustrating, I took an OU degree in Literature a couple of years ago so am particularly "skilled" at "reading" for want of a better word. When I am especially bad I get convinced I have a brain tumour too. If that is the case I have had it for best part of 40 years!

All these side effects could be the result of taking Citalopram. I haven't had it but have had similar medication. I tend to find though that they are worse when my depression/anxiety/phobic state is worse. It would be worth talking to your GP again just in case. Could be there is a better medication around for you. Or you might need to change the amount you are taking.

hugs