HI Bubble,

I know how you feel when you think you have so much to do and then feeling guilty all the time for the stuff you are not doing.

I think you need to give yourself permission to be happy settled and relax, I eventually got my head round this by watching other people, mainly my husband. If he has something to do he either gets on and does it or he doesn't do it and he doesn't fret over it or beat himself up for not doing stuff.

I found I was wasting so much energy feeling guilty about oh I should be doing the dishes, and I should be studying, I should be walking the dog, I should be going to the gym, I should be doing this and I should also be doing that. I realised I can only do one thing at a time, so if the dishes need done I either do them or I don't do them, if I do them then they are done and thats it, but if I don't do them I don't beat myself up or feel guilty as that is just a waste of energy. That energy could be better spent doing something I DO want to do.

So rather than thinking of all the things I SHOULD be doing I try to get on with it, as again I was wasting time nd energy just tinking about what I needed to do rather than just doingit then moving on. One thing I have foud useful, is if I am thinking of things I need to do and somethign will take less than 5 minutes and can be done now, then do it now, then its done and you can get on with other stuff.

HTH

BM

Hi Bubble and welcome to the board,
It will help that you've done something to reduce the triggers for your stress by moving out and being closer to work as well.

Being ill abroad would have been a worry as is moving home.

It's natural to look for distractions from our stresses and worries and if they work we can become obsessed by them. The feeling guilty about everything is part of the anxiety.
We don't give ourselves a break. I sometimes wonder if we worry about things because we think it will somehow prepare us if the worst happens and our worries come true as if that would minimise the effect. It doesn't. Worrying just robs us of a contented moment here and now.

Adrenaline as a result of stress can make you very restless and feel a need to get up and doing stuff. If you don't respond in that way then your anxiety increases and you could end up fidgetting or getting obsessed with something trivial.

I think your description of how you sounded when watching tv as if you should be doing something else is a sign of your anxiety. I actually get like that when I am overloaded. It's like I don't know where to start sorting everything out so if I start one thing I'll find myself fretting about the things I'm not doing as if I'm leaving them, knowing they need attention too. It's so stressful in itself.

It would help if we could wear blinkers and just concentrate on the one thing at a time, get that sorted and move on to the next but stress and anxiety hold onto us and make us feel guilty for the things we aren't doing and ignore whatever we are trying to get done.

You will need to keep an eye on how you're feeling because if your stress goes on for too long then you could sink back into depression.

Your time to yourself, spent reading or watching tv is equally as important as all the other things you have to do. If your batteries aren't recharged you will just become more and more drained and you can't afford to let that happen.

What might help is if you make a list of all the things you need to do and then whatever you manage to get done you cross off in thick red marker pen. Seeing and feeling that you are getting through those tasks should help you feel better.

Again, remember to add in rest periods because you have earned and need them.

Hugs
Owly x

From Owly x

"The harder you fall, the higher you bounce."

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