i'm in such a state - i'm a single mum of 2 teenage boys and inspite of working full time since their father left 7 years ago, i've really struggled financially as he hasn't contributed - you might've seen my postings on the single parents board; he's made things very difficult and the children no longer see him due to his abusive behaviour. i finally went via the csa who set up payments which would've made things more comfortable. he then did exactly what he'd always threatened and gave up his job last month after ONE payment.

that payment went towards getting rid of my overdraft but now my car is due it's mot, the tax is due, the windscreen needs replacing and it's the boys birthday in a week.....i really don't know what to do. even if it was either the car or the birthdays i cant afford them but both together??? the mortgage company has allowed me to pay just the interest next month which would be a great help if i could have the available cash now. i could ask my bf for a loan until then but he has helped out before and i don't want to ask again...

i really don't know what to do and am so stressed and worried about this all - and sick to the stomach that my ex's behaviour makes me even have to contemplate choosing between a car and my childrens birthday

Hi,

I'm just on my way out but I didn't want to read and run. Sorry you're having to put up with this from your ex.

You've done the right thing talking to your bank, so that's a good start for now. It might be worth having a chat with someone at your local CAB, just to see if they have any ideas for the best way forward for you. You can find your local office here -

http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/

Over on the Money Matters board, BlueLottie and the others have great advice about the technicalities of dealing with stuff like this they might be some help to you too -

http://messageboards.ivillage.co.uk/iv-ukmnmoney

I know you don't want to ask but it might be best if you could ask you bf to help you out with some birthday gifts, he probably wouldn't mind. If you really can't bring yourself to do it then I'm sure we can think of some good ideas for birthdays on a budget.

HTH a bit and hopefully someone else will be along while I'm out to help you...