Hi,

I wondered what everyone's thoughts are on if there is an age limit to love and if so, how much older or younger would you date?

In the news there was recently a Somalian man aged 112 who married a 17 year old. He claims he has now realised his 'dream'. Do you think it's possible for a 17 year old to love a man whose been around so long he's been around for both world wars, 5 marriages and has a grand total of 118 children and grandchildren? He is also old enough to be her great-great-great grandfather. Also for a 112 year old man to be in love with a 17 year old whom must have such little life experience to be on a completely different wave length to the man?

Is there any age where it's just not acceptable for a couple to be together? Or is it a case of, if the people are happy with each other and love one another they should be accepted as being together no matter what their ages?

Hi Sarah,

If you'd have asked me about age gap relationships 10 years ago I would have given you a different answer to what I am now. The reason being at the time I was in one. When I was 16 I met my future husband who was a couple of weeks off of aged 36. We actually ended up staying together for ten years, but now I hold quite a resentment for the years I missed out on socially. I didn't go out and I mean ever go out, it wasn't a case of I only went out every few months, I never went out at all unless it was with my mum. I think between the ages of 16 and 25 we change and grow up a lot so for me to be with someone who had already done their changing meant that I changed but for he stayed the same. We drifted apart.

Personally I think a 20 year age gap is too big especially if the  younger partner hasn't reached their mid to late 20's. One good thing in a relationship is experiencing new things together and if one partner has already been there and done that then it's not the same. As for the question is it acceptable I don't think it would be my place to accept someone else's relationship, but if a friend or especially one of my kids came to me telling me they were in an age gap relationship I would tell them my opinion and my experience but wish them all the best and hope it worked for them.

As for the 17 year old with the 112 year old, I wonder if there is money involved. Surely she can't find him sexually attractive. I know there is more to a marriage than that but it does play a part for most people. They may love each other, I believe that is possible but not it the way a husband and wife usually do.

For me if I'm honest I would go out with someone between the age of 21 and 35 without a problem, maybe even up to 40. Age is rarely the thing I'm concerned with, though I do kind of prefer it if they're not any more than a year younger than me. I'm kind of different to many people my age I don't typically go out, maybe once a month and even then it's only to a pub and not a nightclub ( I really hate nightclubs, dancing is certainly not my thing).

Though overall I'm not really social, it's not something I can't do, I just prefer peace and quiet sometimes...

On the situation with the 112 year old man, well that wouldn't even be illegal in this country. Unless she was forced into the relationship. There will be money involved or some sort of deal which will raise a families rating in their culture by having ties to this man's family imo.

Hi

I think in this case it was probably an arranged marriage tbh, I doubt if this is sort of life partner a 17 year old girl would choose for herself. However we do have a rather sentimentalised view of marriage in the West which is not shared elsewhere, many cultures arrange marriages and they are often more like a business contract involving money,property and family ties rather than love, although of course many do grow to love their husband/wife.

Indeed up until fairly recently many did the same in the UK as well. I would say it has only been in the last century or less that people marry for lurv, certainly among the upper classes. There was probaly some expectation placed on this girl by her family or it may be she doesn't expect him to live much longer lol.