Tilly

My husband and I have been doing IVF for 10 years and decided to stop 2 years ago...we have never let the experience come between us and he is my rock and my soul mate.
We used the experience to make us closer and that is the positive we got from it ...we went through every heartache together....
I wanted kids more than anything in the world but the one thing I wouldn't trade them for is my husband....
Your marriage can survive this if you work hard on communication, support of each other, understanding of each other and love for each other....
hope that helps
be positive and make something good come from something bad....

Hi Tilly,

And welcome to the board.  Were you on Fertility Issues prior to this? 

It's horrible when we first decide enough is enough,  I think up until then we have the hope to keep us going and all our dreams and fantasies of what it would be like to be pregnant, give birth, be a mum with a perfect baby and that is the hardest part of all this.  You are experiencing a loss, the loss of an ideal and you and DH need time to grieve that.

I think everyone is different, my relationship has got stronger and although I don't have the life I always thought I would have, I have a new life and I have to say it's pretty damn good.  I used the end of my fertility journey to re-invent myself.  My dh and I decided to get married (twice) once in Thailand and again in the UK and I decided on a career change and have just completed a PG Dip in Counselling and I'm about to embark on an MSc. 

If it does get too much I would recommend you see a counsellor, a bereavement counsellor should be able to help you, check out the Recommended links boxes or let me know and I can give you some more websites.

I don't know if it helps but it does get better with time, I can't say the pain ever completely goes away but the bad days can become outweighed by the good ones.

Love and hugs,
xx Paula xx