Me too! This week is a bad week! Admittedly I go through phases of coping and then every so often I get lost in that horrible depressive place which breaks my heart.  The joyful news is that a dear friend just had her baby and I have really pushed myself to be brave and to try and share positively in the experience......... today my good intentions went out the window when I found myself welling up with tears and just weeping because I can't get pregnant and I won't ever give birth and snuggle up with a baby made by me and my most beautiful husband...........We gave up on the whole fertility rollercoaster two years ago - since then I have had counselling, some moments of scary depressive darkness and some moments of great joy and happiness.  I just wanted to say hang in there lovely - I think the madness is just a normal part of this tough old journey and I am sending out a big hug and if needs be a big box of kleenex to help catch those tears. XXX