Hi everyone,

How did you cope last night?

I must admit I've kept my head in the sand this year and avoided or ignored it all, as much as I can.  Thankfully in our village children only trick or treat at houses with a pumpkin outside, but there was a moment of panic when I thought what if they've changed the rule this year.

Love n hugs,
xx Paula xx

Thant's a good rule. We're not normally bothered by trick or treaters and the local retailers all have a ban on seling flour and eggs to under 18s in the week running up to it, so I think it's not a problem here.

I am worried about a firework party I'm going to next Friday though. The friend (I mentioned nine months ago when I found out she was pregnant) will be there with her new baby. All the group will be cooing over it  but I'm not sure I can bear to go near. I've done my best to be encouraging and congratulatory to both her and the husband (also a friend) on facebook, but I've not had had to come face to face with them or the baby yet.

I'm torn between prtocol anf my feeling. Between not wanting to be rude (and being judged by those who might notice me keeping my distance from it)  and not being able to cope with such a tiny baby when I feel so bereft. If I didn't have a commitment to escort a new group member to the party for two pins I would't go, but I'm committed now so I have to be there. It didn't help that I went to a Halloween party with some members of the same group on Saturday and only one person chatted to me. I had a really rubbish time and felt like a complete party pooper.

Hi Mellers,

I'm sorry to hear that some of the group members were insensitive at the Halloween party, it can't help knowing they will be at the fireworks party too.

Good luck with coping with the new baby, personally I would have the minimum amount of contact possible and would leave if it does get too much.  That way you've met your committment with the new group member and looked after yourself.  i don't know if that is an option?

Let us know how it goes.

Love and hugs,
xx Paula xx

Thanks Paula

I like the "leave early if it gets too much" option. I had convinced myself I would have to stay till the bitter end (or at least for as long as my 'guest' wanted to stay), but the idea isn't that I mollycoddle her, the idea is that I introduce her to other people and let her make new friends. It's not like she's the shy retiring type at all. Unlike me she doesn't seem to have any trouble at all interacting with new people.

Thanks for being around just to talk it over (I've missed your calming influence). Sometimes it all gets a bit much and just saying this stuff out loud helps to put it in perspective. Thanks again.