Hi Marie

We went though the same thing with our cats. They were five and six when we got two kitten's and they were very angry with us. It took months before the older ones were comfortable with the kittens and about a year until they would all happily lay down with each other and sleep.

You're doing the right thing giving lots of love and attention to your older cat - just keep doing that. Don't force the cats on each other, just let them have their own space and they'll work it out themselves.

Like I said our cats took ages getting used to each other but now four years later we sometimes can't even sit on the sofa because all four cats have taken it over and are happily sleeping curled up with each other.

Fleur

Hi Marie
Hope things are getting better. We got a new cat about 10 months ago (getting her as a kitten when we had another cat of 4) - the older cat had always had a bit of a grumpy temperament (in fact the main reason we got the kitten was so that my partner could have a cat which liked him - the older one seemed to hate him, even though he's been around since she was a year old!).

Now, nearly a year (yes, sorry, it has taken a long time), the older cat seems chilled out. I wouldn't say they're the best of friends - they certainly wouldn't cuddle up together at the moment, but they tolerate each other.

The vet said to ensure that they had their own clear feeding areas, including water and definitely separate litter trays. And initially we kept them separate at night.

Cats are really territorial and if your older cat is one who stays in and sleeps, it will be a bit of a shock to her system (someone said imagine if one day you came home from work and there was a total stranger sitting in your living room having a beer and watching your TV - that's how the cat would feel!), but she will get used to it.
I'd go as far as to say that our older cat seems more friendly to all now, so it will improve I hope.

Hi Marie. Hope things are settling down. In addition to making sure each cat has their own food, litter trays, resting areas and hidey holes so there is no competition over resources you can use the cat pheromone signalling system to your advantage. First I'd get hold of a Feliway diffuser which uses a synthetic version of the cat 'happy' pheromones to fool the cats into chilling out. You can also transfer scents between the cats using a soft cloth - rub it over the cat's cheeks (this is where the 'happy' scent glands are - you've probably seen your cats rubbing their faces on furniture and your legs) and then transferring that scent to the other cat, and vice versa.
There is also a product called 'Zylkene' which is based on a milk protein - it gives the same effect as a milk meal in a kitten (the blissed out snoozy feeling) when added to food or water for adult cats. You don't get the same effect giving them milk because the enzymes in an adult are different. I'd give that to the grumpy adult cat for a few weeks until things settle down.

Both products are non-prescription, should be available over the counter from your vet or larger petshops, or on the internet.

Hi

You are doing the right thing by giving your'e older one lots of attention, and to make sure there is a seperate place where she can go to be on her own. I have 2 cats, brother and sister who are the best of friends, but the Mork,our boy has been really ill over the last few months, nearly lost him at one point which has meant a lot of visits to the vet. Everytime I bring him home, Mindy really attacks him for a few days at a time and he gets so upset as he can,t understand it.

My vet recommended a product called Felifriend which is supposed to help your cat when being handled but it also helps to calm Mindy down, it has cat pheromones in it.

All you do is spray a bit on your hands, and most important, let it dry, then run your hands over the cat, do this too both cats and hopefully this should help.

Warning though, when you spray onto your hands, make sure it is away from the cat's and in a well ventilated room, it stinks!!! Might be an idea as well to spray a tiny bit on your'e clothes when you are giving them attention, although I would make sure it isn't anything expensive or that you love as I am not sure if the smell would come out or ruin it,Lol.

Hope this helps.

Hi

Thanks everyone for the advice and the hope that things could get better.

Things have in fact got better but are still very tense. At least now our older cat will come sit with us again I missed her being so affectionate.

They have separate feeding bowls but I cannot stop the kitten from eating out of both and our older cat drinks from the kittens water bowl a lot as well. I cant just feed them separately as our older cat is a snacker.

Hopefuly they will get better. I think the problem now is that the kitten is comletely fearless of my older cats warnings and continues to annoy her everywhere she goes but hopefuly that will get better as the kitten gets older and calms down.