Mo, thanks for posting your story.

It's such a hard thing to come to terms with if, like you say you think you'll have no problem and are so determined to BF. It does take a while to forget the guilt but even now (my DD just turned 2) I have regrets about the fact that I had to mix feed her. I know for next time that it isn't always going to happen. Please feel free to post if you need to let off steam, I wish I'd done more ranting about it at the time.

Congratulations on the birth of your little one. How old is he?

Katie

Mo, your post made me feel so angry and upset for you.  It sounds like you had the complete opposite of support with breastfeeding and instead a load of opinions and confidence knocking stuff.  Really the way some midwives behave in labour wards makes me furious.  I completely support a woman who doesn't want to breastfeed but when you hear about someone who wanted to and who got the 'support' you did it angers me.  Babies heads are always sore post delivery and they shouldn't be touched there as it can traumatise them and scare them off the breast, the midwives should have shown you how to support the neck instead and should have reassured you about the time it takes for milk to come in and that they need such a teeny amount in the first few days.  you were not starving your baby at all.  i had a midwife squash my breast to see if my milk had come it too, and she really hurt me, so much for the 'hands off' approach which we are taught on my breastfeeding supporter course!  the same midwife gave me a sweep in an examination without asking my permission and i know i will never forget her because of this - nothing to her i'm sure but i felt so invaded.

anyway i'm sorry i'm digressing, i don't want to make you feel angrier or more upset than you already were - just want to reassure you that your baby will be fine on formula - breastfeeding may be natural but formula took over so much it is now not what everyone has seen everyone doing for generations - so it has become a skill that has to be learned again and that requires so much support - all babies know how to suck but some of them are shocking at latching on and that has to be sorted it or breastfeeding will fail.   people also say breastfed babies bond better with their mothers - i'd just like to clarify they have more opportunity to bond maybe but that's not to say they will. 

Congratulations on the arrival of Hugh and hope you enjoy watching him thrive.  it's such a lovely time having a newborn!

jen x