I don't know where to begin......I don't know if i am suffering from AND but  i'm 18 week pregnant and the last 18 weeks have been the worst 18 weeks of my life!!!

I don't have anything good to say about being pregnant this time round i hate it, i can't wait til baby is here and i go back to feeling normal, i feel ill 99% of the time, i'm soooo tired, i can cry at anything and everything i have this anger inside me that sees me saying the most horrible things to my DF and i'm not overly bothered if i see DS most days as he just annoys me too then in the next breath i'm so worried something is going to happen to him i'm in tears, to top it off i work full time and there isn't much going on so it gives me time to dwell on how crap my life is and how awful i feel!

I wish i could go to sleep and wake up in March when baby is here i feel fat unatractive and just not ME, i can't wait for the day when i am myself again. it doesn't matter what i try i just can't seem to be happy, i wanted this baby so much and my DS is so excited he's been so good and is a good boy really just your typical 4 year old. It's his b'day next week andi can't even muster up any enthusiasm at all about it, and Df's the day after but i don't even want to buy Df anything.

He seems to be the main point of my anger and frustration at the moment i can't get past how much i DON'T like him right now i can't bear to look at him or have him in the same house as me i've asked him to move out but he won't i just don't recognise myself anymore i thought i was meant to be feeling better at this stage in my pregnancy not worse i don't know how i'm going to cope for the next 21 weeks i just can't!!!!!!

 I feel like a failure of a mother and a partner but no matter how much i try i just can't snap out of it!!