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Hi Sarah,
Congratulations on your pregnancy and welcome to the board, it's great that you're considering a home birth. I'm Jenny and I had an amazing home waterbirth with my DS2 and am now planning another for our third baby who is due at the end of Feb.
I can't speak from personal experience as my DS1 slept through my labour and birth with DS2, and he was only a couple of weeks off his 2nd birthday so not as old as your two. I had planned that if he'd woken up then MIL would have come and got him or kept him out of the way and entertained because I thought he would be too young to understand what was happening, and that I wouldn't have been able to focus and DH wouldn't have been able to concentrate on supporting me.
This time I think I'm more open to the boys being present, if they want to be, although so far DS1 has said that he doesn't want to be, and DS2 is too young to know one way or the other. I have bought them a book about a home waterbirth called 'Our Water Baby' (http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0955453607/ref=ox_ya_oh_product), which I can recommend and there are quite a few similar books available. DS1 often watches pregnancy and birth programmes with me as I think that's a good way of preparing them, especially the Home Birth Diaries programmes. I think that the only way children would get frightened during their siblings birth is if they're unprepared for it, so try and prepare them and talk honestly about it and encourage them to ask questions as much as you can beforehand. A 7 and 5yr old will also be more capable of understanding that they need to behave, stay out of the way and be quiet during the birth, and I'm sure that if they really want to be there and were told that they couldn't be present if they didn't adhere to those rules, then they would adhere to them.
However, at the end of the day, the most important thing is how you would feel having them there, but just like you'd prepare them for being present, you could also prepare yourself for them being there too. It would also be wise to set some clear rules beforehand about what circumstances you would prefer them not to be there/taken out of the room, and then make sure that they, along with any one else likely to be present, are aware of those rules and can act upon them if needs be. You should also have another adult there (other than your DH or the MW's) who would be able to deal with the children if needs be, or look after them in the unlikely event that you may need/want to transfer to hospital.
I hope this helps and look forward to getting to know you during your home birth journey. If you have any more questions please don't hesitate to ask.
Edited 26/10/2009 21:45 ET by cl-jade80
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