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| Discussion Title: | Family worried about my birth plan |
| Emoticon: |  |
| Message #: | 4849.1 |
| From: | misspixie  |
| To: | ALL |
| Date: | 5-Nov 00:18 |
| Replies: | 10 |
| Message: |
Hiya ladies, I've lurked here for a bit but not had cause to post yet. I'm Charlie, 21, 6.5months pregnant with my first baby, healthy little boy :) basically I'm a natural earth mama type of girl (or aspiring to be lol!) and planning a homebirth with as little medical intervention as is safe (2 NHS midwives, no drugs). the hospital is less than 2min away by car and about 1min by ambulance, even if it weren't i'd still have a home birth but it does help me feel safer. anyway, most of my family are deeply unhappy and worried about me having a homebirth - my mum had two complicated labours with all the drugs going and doesnt have faith that women can or should birth naturally, and my nana had a baby who died 'as a result of homebirth' according to the doctor at the time.
it's causing me so much stress, my mum yesterday even accused me of 'putting my baby's life at risk' to which i shouted and screamed and cried and protested, probably quite hormonally!! i know it's my choice, etc etc, i've read plenty of books which state the evidence for safety, not least Kitzinger's excellent, well-thumbed one. home birth is something i feel so passionately about, and theyre driving me crazy with their closed mindedness. it's bloodyhard to keep the faith when so few people believe in me!!!
just a rant, looking for advice/similar experiences?
Charlie xxx
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| Discussion Title: | Family worried about my birth plan |
| Emoticon: | |
| Message #: | 4849.2 in response to 4849.1 |
| From: | mumoftwo2008  |
| To: | misspixie |
| Date: | 5-Nov 09:31 |
| Replies: | 10 |
| Message: |
Hi Hunny,
It can be hard to decide to birth at home with so many people against it! It may be an idea to say to them that ur not asking for there opinion but there support. I have had 2 non complicated births and this time round have decided to birth at home despite my consultant wanting me in hospital as i have a blood condition that has a very small chance of jaundice and anemia in baby (but this is a very small chance!) I gave up on having a HB but was told by my M/W 2 weeks ago that there is no reason why i cudn't!!! and if the m/w is confident then why shudn't i be????
With a HB u get undivided attention from 2 m/w's which is more than u do in hospital, u r not rushed and u have the comforts of ur home to lessen the stress!!! Mostly everything u get in hospital u can have at home, and it takes upto 30 mins to sort out an emergency section even from hospital so in the worst case senario u had to be taken to hospital it wudnt take any longer!
If people where to look into it they wud see its just as safe if not more so at home! It just narrowmindedness and the fact we r such a medicalised nation now! That people cant get passed!
Go with wot u feel in ur heart and ignore the scaremongerers with the m/w's support u can obtain a HB and a positive experience!
xx
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/Renee78
Hi i am Renee (31) my DF Colin is (30) I have 2 daughters Jordan (11) and Ebony (6) TTC # 3 Since March 2008... I got my BFP Sunday 12th April 2009! Have suffered with HG since 5 weeks. I am having a little boy due 22nd Deecember 2009!
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| Discussion Title: | Family worried about my birth plan |
| Emoticon: |  |
| Message #: | 4849.3 in response to 4849.1 |
| From: | cl-jade80  |
| To: | misspixie |
| Date: | 5-Nov 10:40 |
| Replies: | 10 |
| Message: |
Hi Charlie,
Firstly, welcome to the board, it's lovely to 'see' you on here.
I'm sorry that you're not getting the support that you want and need regarding your choice of birth, and unfortunately it's a problem that many women wanting a home birth have to battle with, and ignorance is totally to blame for it.
Your family are entitled to their opinions, but when it's not an informed opinion then it's worthless. I would therefore urge your family to actually be open to the facts, maybe print off some information for them, let them read some of the books you have, and perhaps even ask them to discuss their concerns with your MW. If they're not willing to do any of that for you then I would be inclined to just thank them for their concern, but say that you are going to do it with or without their support.
At the end of the day though hun you don't need anyones approval or permission to achieve the birth that you want, it's down to you, and if you have the support of a good MW team then all the better. Of course you also have me and the other ladies on here and no doubt Feb10 supporting you :O)
Stay strong and remember all the reasons why you have chosen to birth your baby at home, and don't let any uninformed and narrow minded opinions cast any doubts on that.
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| Discussion Title: | Family worried about my birth plan |
| Emoticon: | |
| Message #: | 4849.4 in response to 4849.1 |
| From: | doodlegirl  |
| To: | misspixie |
| Date: | 5-Nov 12:32 |
| Replies: | 10 |
| Message: |
Hello Charlie, Welcome to the board and please do not think that by choosing a home birth you are deliberately putting your baby's life at risk. Home-birth for a straight forward pregnancy is no more dangerous than a hospital birth and in a lot of cases even less so. You will gave the undivided attention of 2 midwives which is more than most maternity units can offer in the uk at present. Please if you read any pregnancy books read Ina MAy's guide to childbirth, it will reaffirm that what you are doing is not seeking to endanger your life but to trust that your body can and will birth a baby in the way it knows how and without the constraints that hospital birthing places on women. It will also help you answer any questions on why hospital births have higher rates if intervention as they see pregnancy in the smae lines as illness which it isn't. Your Mum and Grandma have had their experiences of birth, that's not to say yours will be anything like it given your confidence, attitude and preparation. This is my first home birth and my third baby. I only wish I'd have had your confidence to not be scared and to deliver all three of mine at home. I am so excited about going into labour this time round and cant wait to greet my little one in my own home, my way!! HUgs Angie (still waiting.......for baby lol!)
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| Discussion Title: | Family worried about my birth plan |
| Emoticon: | |
| Message #: | 4849.5 in response to 4849.3 |
| From: | misspixie |
| To: | cl-jade80 |
| Date: | 5-Nov 12:35 |
| Replies: | 10 |
| Message: |
Thanks for your replies ladies, I was really down and upset last night. My mum and I have never had a very good relationship, but I couldn't believe she would actually say to me that I am risking my baby's life in home birth plans, when I'm in my third trimester!!! Ridiculous!
Ive offered books, and statistics,and they arent interested. I have told them their opinions are based on media and their own fears, and that I dont want my birth experience coloured by either of those things. It is sad they had those experiences, but they are not mine to take on.
I have a very supportive partner, a doula, and a good midwife, so I'm sure I'll be fine. I don't live with my parents, I'm 2 hrs away, and I really resent feeling like I have to justify myself to them when I feel it is none o f their business how I birth my baby!!! They were all adament I should have an abortion anyway when I told them in June!
*sigh* live and let live anyone?!! x
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