I thought we were on for a good night with Bella.

At 6pm she took 6oz of milk - the MOST food she has taken in one sitting EVER.  She went down to sleep well afterwards and at 10pm we woke her as usual for her "dream feed", well she has been awake on and off since - waking every 10 mins or so sometimes crying sometimes just talking.  We live in a new modern house so I can hear every noise she makes so I've no hope of ignoring the sounds.

I've done the bum check, I've offered her more milk, I've checked for wind, I;ve added an extra sheet incase she was cold - she's still waking up.

It feels like I take half a step forward (getting her to eat more) only to have it and some more thown back in my face.  I'm so tired, I can't sleep, my head is aching, my body is exhausted from the pure frustation of Bella not eating much hence not sleeping thru and my carrying on regardless and pretending all is ok and life is fine and dandy for the outside world.

I just wanna say #### it to everything, crawl into a hole and die, I now know why they use sleep deprevation as a form of torture as thats exactly how I feel - like I'm being tortured.

I know I have a beautiful baby girl just thru there and I really do love her but I hate my life just now and I just don't see an end to it.

 

 

Mum to Baby No 1 lost at 11.5 weeks June 2007

 

Mum to Georgina lost at 16 weeks March 2008

 

Mum to Baby No 3 lost at 6 weeks June 2008

 

My Skype Name is emmahurt1

My FaceBook Profile is  http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/profile.php?id=582219841&ref=profile

((((Hugs)))) Emma, I'm so sorry you're having a hard time, I agree tiredness is a form of torture! You sound absolutely exhausted sweetheart.

Can your DH do a nightshift or two looking after Bella so that you can get some good nights sleep, this would probably do you the world of good and make you feel so much better. When my DH and I did this when Charlie woke in the night one of us would sleep downstairs with the door shut and then the other would sleep in the bedroom with Charlie, again with the door shut so that the one who was sleeping wouldn't be disturbed. A bit of cotton wool in the ears works wonders too, anything so that you can catch up on some much-needed sleep!

I know it's awful and seems never ending when they're waking in the night, but remember in the grand scheme of things this baby phase is really very short, and I promise things WILL get better and much much easier (until they hit 10, but that's another story, lol).

Lots more hugs to you

R
xx

Oh Emma you really sound like you're struggling :-(

Rach had a good suggestion - could dh not do a nightshift for you? Are you able to sleep during the day at all or is B too demanding to let you?

Wish I could come round there and give you a break :-(

((hugs))

Li x

Thats guys

I really am struggling, I am trying to cope/manage but I get to the point when my armour breaks down and I can't hold it in any more.

DH doesn't hear Bella when she wakes so I end up waking anyway and living in a modern house you hear every noise so whilst I may not "get up" to her I'd still hear it all so kinda think I may as well get up and do the feeds.  He is good in that he gets up for the breakfast bottle and takes her downstairs so I can get a bit extra kip but its not the same as sleeping solidy at night and getting a good 6 hours in one go.

I have tried sleeping when Bella does during the day but it never seems to work out - if I decide to lay down and nap she would only sleep for 45 mins and be awake again just as I was drifting off.  Its typical that the times I decide not to she'd sleep for 1.5 hours or more !!

This is why I posted the other day asking about the "right" time to let her sleep away from me - thing is noone wants to get up to a baby waking twice in the night even my sister whose got two boys.   I don't want to let her sleep away from me - just the thought now makes me want to cry.

I just feel so miserable all the time and I hate that.  I only have 9 months off of work for Mat Leave and I keep thinking 3 and half months have gone already and I have exactly "enjoyed" my time off yet.

Bella is 14 weeks (9 corrected) now - surely her sleeping at night shouldn't be as bad as this?  She weighed in at 12lb 8oz on Tuesday, surley 3foz each feed isn't enough for that weight and age?

I don't know ladies - am I just over analyzing things to much?  Am I just expecting too much??  Do I just need to chill out????

I was so looking forward to this weekend, having DH home, we are going to MC to look at a Jumparoo for Bella we are having fireworks tonight with our neighbours with hotdogs and soup and then Sunday we are meeting DH's cousions for lunch as they havn't met Bella yet - I'm trying to bright and cheery but feeling so awlful its hard.

I really appreciate your replying to me - I just needed somewhere to go rant at 12.30am last night.

Exxx

 

 

Mum to Baby No 1 lost at 11.5 weeks June 2007

 

Mum to Georgina lost at 16 weeks March 2008

 

Mum to Baby No 3 lost at 6 weeks June 2008

 

My Skype Name is emmahurt1

My FaceBook Profile is  http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/profile.php?id=582219841&ref=profile

Hiya,

I don't post much (naughty lurker!) but felt that I just had to reply.

I'm sure that one of your family members or friends would look after your lo for a night if you make it clear to them just how awful you are feeling. They would only be up twice, which is nothing (if it is only for 1 night!) and with her being ff there are no issues with Jordan boobs for you :o)

DS1 (now 3) stayed at my mums one night a month from about 5 months old after we had to 'force' him to sleep through by using controlled crying - something I still feel a small pang of guilt about, but I know if we hadn't done it then I would have gone bonkers and been a horrid mummy during the day with him (he was at that point waking up to 10 times a night as he seemed to think he needed boob to get back to sleep every time he stirred).

He still goes to sleep over (now 2 nights a month as he, and they love it!) and it has been an absolute lifesaver, not to mention marriage and sanity saver! Needing time away from our lo's doesn't make us bad mummies, it makes us really good ones for recognising that we need to nurture ourselves in order to give so much to our lo's.

If it is really impossible for someone else to have Bella, then I would recommend putting the monitor right next to her and the other end turned up next to your dp's head and telling him in no uncertain terms that he is responsible for waking up (or set an alarm for the times she usually wakes). Then you invest in some good earplugs and sleep elsewhere in the house - edited to add: or you could go on a sleepover to someone else's house perhaps?

I hope that you find something that works for you, and I'm sure that Bella will get the hang of sleeping through soon and all this will be a distant memory!

Rachhb & DS2 (14 wks - and also waking 2 times a night!)

xx