Hi everyone,

A friend told me about this site, I'm really hoping there is someone that can help as I don't know where else to turn.

My dd turned three a couple of months bk and i'm becoming increasingly concerned with her behaviour. At home she winges a lot and needs the comfort of her teddy and dummy. In social situations such as at friends or my parents house, she seems to find it difficult and plays up quite a bit often taking her feelings out on the dog or younger children. she generally a very loving child and we share lots of cuddles through out the day, she is an only child and i do wonder whether that's a factor. she has had some developmental delays, crawled at 15 months walked at 19 months and has on going speach delay.

when my parents and other people see her being mean to the dog or other younger children they make comments that she boisterous and naughty that makes me not want to put myself or dd in those situations but then we'd be forever stuck in the house and i'd go mad. what can i do, how can i calm her and teach her to be kind and gentle with small children and animals? we have a dog ourselves and i quiet often have to separate them (more for the dogs sake) I've told her 'no' and to 'be gentle' but i just get looks from other parents and comments like 'she always attacks the dog' so I end up taking her home out of shear frustration. I spoke to her pre school, they told she was a boisterous child.

Can anyone help, Is it something she'll grow out of or should i speak to the health vistor?

Thank you to anyone who reply's

Vanessa xx  sorry just realised i posted on wrong board and don't no how to change it.

Hi

i might have well have witten your post myself apart from the only child part!

My little girl has only just (yesterday) turned three but she sounds like she's acting the same way as your DD.  I did find a little help by asking my Health Visitor and he put the Nursery Nurse in touch with me.  We had some play work where she had a hour a week with the nursery nursr in our house and I was able to wander off and do what i needed to do (like have a shower, snooze, read ... or in my case take a chance to clean the house without my 2 little darlings clinging onto my legs or trying to out scream each other!) she started to share alot more and started to play more. Maybe talking to your HV, they might have a similar thing to this. 

The other thing that I've been told is that its due to frustration due to the lack of speech.  they can't get their message accross so they get annoyed and let it out the only way they get our attention. at home its whinging when about they find other ways that get everyone's attention.  I was advised that the best thing to do is try to gues what they want and if they are making some attempt at speaking that is worth praise even if the sound isn't quite right you just repeat it and praise them .. so 'do' for juice for example I'd say 'Juice, thats right juice well done there's your juice.' you sound a bit insane, especially if there are other people about but hey bet they've done worse!!

hth

Hi Toria,

thanks so much for replying, i feel like i'm at my wits end sometimes and it just helps to know your not alone. i'll definatly ring my health vistor in the morning.

thanks again

Vanessa x

Hi Vanessa

I do not think it's becasue she's an only child becaue she does nto know any better.

I too think that there will be an element that is frustration with lack of speech.

Bu also she's grown up so much you start to think of her as a bigger person than she i sprobably ready for. I catch myself doign that with Delphie who will shortly be 3.5 because she is very advanced socially and academically,and has a big brother she copies,  but then I forget that she's only 3 and get annoyed when she behaves like a baby.

Sounds like it would be helpful for her to socialise a little more with her peers. Could she go to nursery a few mornings a week?

Heleen

Sounds like you've already had some pretty good advice, but it might also be worth asking how they deal with her behaviour at her pre-school, and see if they've found a successful way of calming her down? Or, if not calming her down, just altering what she does when she wants attention or is frustrated. After all, they're trained in how to look after children, and probably see the exact same sort of behaviour all the time.

Hope you feel a bit better after reading these - we've all been in a situation at some stage or another where our children play up, and know how it can feel at times! And hopefully she will grow out of it, perhaps when her speech becomes clearer, which should help her feel less frustration.

x