***LIVING CHILDREN MENTIONED***

I'm so down at the moment and everything feels like crap.  I've been away for the week with DH and the kids, we had such a lovely time but Thursday was such a big thing for me because I should have been full term (37 weeks).  Nobody else realises what these little things mean and it hurts that I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about it.  DH is aware of the milestones because I tell him but he doesn't really know how much I'm hurting.  I want my bump, I want to feel Rose hiccuping and kicking, I want my hospital bag sat in the corner of my bedroom ready to go....but it's all gone.

How am I supposed to get through the next 3 weeks without completely breaking down??? :o(

Becki xx

Dear Becki

I am so sorry you are feeling like this, the pain of realising what you have lost is so very hard and it hurts so much.

The feeling of longing and of emptyness is huge, unless you have been through the loss of a child people don't understand and forget about those key dates or don't want to mention them for fear of being upset.

Spending time with your family right now is important although it does have a double edge sword of thinking there should be someone else alsmost here.

How do you get through it, I don't know Becki, I am not sure how I got through those early days but I managed, I think it was because I only looked at minute by minute, day by day, I held on to a belief that things would get better, they do, the number of bad days lessens.

Keep talking and crying, go with the flow, you don't need to put on your brave face all the time, it is important you can take it off.

Sending you some big (((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

Pippa