On August 25th, I had went for my first check up for my pregnancy.  I was roughly around 7 weeks.  Well when I went, the doctor did a sonogram and didnt see a baby or hear a heartbeat.  So he told me it was either 2 things.  1) I wasnt 7 weeks or 2)I was going to have a miscarriage.  So the doctor set me for another appt. 2 weeks later (Sept. 8th) and there was still no baby nor heartbeat.  I was crushed because I was really hoping there would be a baby.  On Sept. 10th I was scheduled for a D&C and everything came out fine.   Only thing is, how is it that I am sad for something that was not there.  No baby?!  I'm just an emotional wreck.  I had my hopes up high on having this baby, but to know there wasnt a baby is just undescribable.  I mean some people tell me that I should be able to get over the loss because I didnt have a baby in my stomach.  But, I was just hoping that there was one.  The illusion of having a baby.  People also tell me, I'm young and I can have more kids still, etc. but it doesn't help me. 

Can someone explain why I feel so depressed and crying all the time? Is it suppose to be easier because I didnt have a baby in my stomach as some people said? It's really at the point that I just dont want to talk to anyone right now besides my dh and daughter.  What also made it hurt even more is the fact we had to explain the situation to my 5 yr. old daughter and her telling me she misses the baby and wants it back. 

Also, after having the D&C til this day I still feel my boobs being sore and yesterday my feet were really swollen but I dont know if it was because I was crying alot last night and my blood pressure went up or if it was a sympton of the pregnancy still.

Hi I normally lurk on here rather than post but read what you had posted and felt that it needed a response.

My mc happened in jan this year, I know you say you feel sad as your grieving a baby that wasnt there - its the same as how I felt. What I think you are grieving is what could have been, plus its the 'feeling' pregnant bit that made it worse for me as I felt like our little one was there even though I never saw if it was.

Some people dont really know what to say, Ive had the your young / it was only your first pg and wasnt meant to be / at least you know you can get pg. I found my way of getting through this is just that I brush it aside at the time, then I write it down in my book so it gets the comment out of my head so I can continue to be strong.

I now have a willow tree figure that marked the little ones edd and I recently looked back on the diary (notebook) that Ive kept since the beginning of the year, it made me proud to look back and realise how far Ive come. I hope you find your way to cope - I still cry sometimes mainly when aunt flo visits and yet again its another month of disappointment.

I hope the future holds happiness for you xx