hi ladies,

it would be my due date tomorrow and we are going away to the coast overnight to get away but i just don't know how i feel.  i had thought i would be feeling horrible but the miracle of miracles has happened and i am pregnant after a 2nd m/c in june.  i feel like i have just done so much grieving since march that i can't face anymore and somehow i feel bad to this baby i am carrying if i long for the other one too much as this one wouldn't be here if i was giving birth now.  i think i will mark the day somehow but i just feel confused.  i am worried i am sounding cold but its just that i have cried so many floods of tears already. 

maybe i could also mark my first angel baby's date here.  actually writing that does make me feel emotional.  she should be here and was so wanted and i don't know where she is now. so i will just write here that i love her and need to set her free x x x

caroline xxxxx

Hi Caroline

First congrats on the bfp, I was so sad when you posted about your 2nd mc on TTCAL. It was my EDD today, I have been dreading it but was determined tat today would be a day of happiness not sadness, my little girl is gone in the arms of the angels, I wanted to celebrate her. I will always be sad I never got to meet her and love her desperately.

just remembering your beautiful angel and thinking of her is lovely, we are going to have a little fireworks celebration tomorrow with my 3 yr old, might sound odd, but to me it's sort of fitting, my lo was a beautiful but was only with us for a very short time - the fireworks kind of represent how exciting and gorgeous she was but sadly not with us for long.

Sorry if I'm waffling, I hope tomorrow is ok for you hun sending you gentle hugs and floaty kisses for your angel.

Lou
x

Hi Caroline - gentle hugs for tomorrow. I have my EDD approaching the end of the month and am pregnant again so in a similar situation. Someone posted recently several years after their MC saying they felt guilty about the sadness they still felt for their lost LO because had they not MC they wouldn't have had their PAL baby, who obviously they love dearly. A wise reply said a life however short is still a life and should be celebrated or commemorated as you see fit - you can only make the best of the situation you find yourself in and if you are lucky enough to have a PAL baby later it doesn't mean you loved the lost one any less.

Hope tomorrow is gentle on you - do whatever feels right. Jen xx

(((hugs)))

I was just going to do a thinking of you post when I saw this post from you.  I was pregnant on my angel's EDD so it was a day of mixed emotions for me too.  Whatever you decide to do will be just right and if you chose to do nothing that's ok too.  I have a candle that I sometimes light on anniversaries and I usually have a bit of retail therapy as well.