Hi

I'm Tracey, my homeboard is MCO08 and I post also on MAFI and MCS08.  My friend has just had twin boys at 26/27 weeks at the weekend and one of them became an angel today.  I just don't know what to do, how to support her and even what sort of cards I should be sending.  We don't see each other very often as we live at opposite ends of the country but we are close and we due to visit this coming week.  I guess I was wondering if anyone had any advice for me ...

Thank you

Tracey

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Hi Tracey

Welcome to the board.  I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's loss.  You sound like a lovely caring considerate friend.  I'm sure your friend will appreciate the fact that you are thinking about her so maybe a simple card to let her know that you are thinking of them all would be a lovely gesture.  You could either get a blank card and write your own thing inside or you can get lovely "thinking of you" cards which often you will find one which says exactly what you want to say.  When my best friend from school lost her DD at 9wks I was at a loss as to what to do as we hadn't actually seen each other for a few years also living at opposite ends of the country.  I sent a text as soon as I heard the news just sending my love and letting them know I was there if they needed anything.  I later spoke to her DF on the phone about funeral arrangements as she wasn't up to talking to anyone.  I still send her a card on her DD's birthday and anniversary to let them know she will never be forgotten (it's been 4 years now).

They will be going through a tough time so I'm sure just knowing that you care will be enough, my friend found that people actually avoided her because I guess they didn't know what to say :(

Will be thinking of and praying for her little one to pull through as well as her angel.

Love Karen xx

Karen xx

Cl - Premature & special care babies

 

Dear Tracey

What a wonderful friend you are. Your story really tugged at my heart. My twins were born at 26 weeks and we came so close to losing them both. It is such a difficult thing to go through. One of the things I got very upset about is that everyone was very kind sending me thinking of you cards but only one person sent me congratulations on your baby/babies card. It felt like no one had acknowledged that I had actually had baby sons even if they were only going to be on this earth for a short time. It is obviously more difficult for your friend as she he sadly lost on of her babies. My heart goes out to her.

Have you approached late loss and neonatal death LLND board. The girls there are wonderful and Im sure they wouldnt mind offering you some advice.

Donna.

Big hugs for you all

Co CL on Prem and Special Care babies board

Hi Tracey

What a lovely friend you are. My sister lost her baby at 26 weeks just over 2 weeks a go so I know how you feel. I would send a simple card with 'Thinking of You' and also a congratulations card for the other baby. Send her a text a day to say you are thinking of her. Don't be upset if she doesn't reply. The text and card will mean so much to them.

The late and neonatal loss board is another place to ask your questions. Great bunch of girls who will welcome you with open arms.

take care

Mel

Thank you Karen; I'm going to go into town to have a look at cards.  I'm also trying to decide on a gift; I think I may get a tree dedicated for each of the boys and then get something for M when he comes home.

Tracey

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