ok i am shaking like a leaf as i write this. i had the mirena inserted after a surgical abortion in may. i never stopped having periods although they have been lighter. i started bleeding if you can call it that last friday and still have brown spotting when i wipe. the last 3 days i have felt really unwell, nauseous, dizzy, weak and just thought i had a bug, sweats etc. i am a smoker, yes i know its no good for me. however when this kicked i i thought it was just the bug putting me off. but i have 3 children and this was my clue before. tonight i did a pregnancy test and it came out +. i have since done another one and that too went +, they are boots ones. i phoned nhs direct as i know the risks of ectopic with mirena. they would have liked me to go to a walk in clinic nearby tonight ideally but childcare is a bit tricky for me so have agreed to go in the morning. she has advised me if i feel any sharp pain to act quick or if bleeding kicks in. i am just in state of panic and shock as the only times i have heard of people pregnant on mirena it ends up as ectopic or miscarriage, i am hoping that the tests are a bad batch, i am hoping and praying anything so i dont have to deal with this and its not real. i am not mentally over the abortion i had in may and deeply regret it so the whole thing feels like payback right now.

i dont know what advice i am asking for or anything here, i am just scared out of my wits that there can be no happy ending to all of this if i really am pregnant. i ahve phoned my boyfriend and he is coming over after my children are asleep. i just cant believe that i am sitting here havig to deal with this. i didnt want the mirena at the time but it seemed foolproof and the best option. i know my boyfriend will hold my hand through the whole thing, its just wrong that this is happening.

thanks for letting me write this out x

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Pixie}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I'm not sure what to say hun, just didn't want your post to go by and not send you a big hug. Let us know how it goes at the clinic tomorrow.

x

Hi

Firstly I am so sorry you are so scared and having to deal with all this.

Most importantly you have acted quickly in getting help and are off tomorrow to see the clinic and have the pregnancy results checked. You have tried really hard to avoid being in this situation and it is not your fault.

You have your children and you have your boyfriend who all love you and will be there for you.

Everything seems worse in the dark and at night, when the sun gets up tomorrow it will feel a little calmer and better. You will manage to find a way to cope with whatever the outcome is, and given your regrets about the TOP, you will be thinking it all through carefully if there are any choices to be made.

Please take deep breaths, eat chocolate, have tea, stay warm, call someone urgently if you feel worse - and then go tomorrow and get facts to deal with rather than fears. If there are choices to be made you will have time to talk them over with someone neutral and sort out your feelings and thoughts.

Thinking of you tonight,

Sam x

thankyou ladies. just to update you, i took a clearblue and first response this morning, yes i was up at first light to go and buy these lol, and both came out negative. as i have been having brown discharge the last week which has been pretty standard on mirena for me, i would be inclined to say that the boots tests i got were a bad batch and i got false positive, or i had some sort of chemical. but i am going to be vigilant for any pain or weird body behaviour. i did notice that when i checked the strings on my mirena they were way down and much longer than they should be so i have no doubt that the mirena has moved and needs checking. the family planning clinic is open this morning in town so i am going to go and get them to look at this anyway and have a chat with them to put my mind at rest.

i feel a tad emotional and all over the place today as for a split second i thought there was a glimmer of hope i may be really pregnant and to be honest i would have been thrilled. my boyfriend definitely wouldnt though lol. thankyou for your kind words last night, they did help. why are our bodies so cruel to us huh?
hugs to you all xx

Glad things seem better today. I hope the clinic can settle everything for you once and for all.

Have you had any counselling about your TOP earlier this year? Given the regret you have mentioned, and the hope that maybe this is pregnancy, it seems there are many strong emotions still around for you with it all. You say your boyfriend would not be happy if you were, so perhaps you can't talk as openly with him about the TOP/no more children now as you would like? The clinic should have ideas of how to access some counselling. Just in case you think it might help - I tend to find huge emotions that can't be openly discussed have a way of getting you down in the end if not dealt with.

sam x