Hi there, was just after some opinions....

I was adopted as a baby. I got in touch with my birth mother when I was 19 & it was lovely while it lasted but we're no longer in contact. I accessed my birth/adoption records prior to making contact with her & as far as my biological father goes there wasn't really much of anything in the notes other than a brief description of what he looked like (he was 19, she was 18) my birth mother stated in the adoption notes that he didn't know of the pregnancy or birth however she told me she had told him but that he wasn't interested (one night stand!) My birth mother called me on my 21st birthday & told me she was pregnant again, this was the last time I heard from her.

We've been doing our family tree for our children & it has got me interested in my biological family & where I came from. My birth mother told me my biological father's name & I'm pretty sure I've tracked his family down, my problem is whether or not I should make contact.

I'm not looking for a father, I don't want anything from them, I am just interested in where I came from. I don't want to upset them incase they really didn't know about me! I'm wary of making contact with my birth father incase he's got a family of his own & obviously it will throw things up in the air for them to say the very least! LOL

Hiya Earth Willow

Wow, what a tough call!  We are in the process of adopting (soon I hope) and we shall be gaining as much info as possible about the birth parent so we can give our adopted child/ren as much info as possible when and if it comes to the point when they want to know more.

I'm wondering if you could write a letter, letting him know you have no intention of wanting to upset him or family but are just interested in your heritage and leave him with some contact details.  That way he can take the letter away and read it in privacy and as many times as he wants.  The only thing I can't figure out is how you would get the letter to him in private without the possibility of it falling into the wrong hands.  If you knew where he worked would it be possible for you to send it to him at his workplace?

Sorry I can't think of anything more constructive.  I can understand how you are interested, who wouldn't be?  I hope you manage to figure something out out and best of luck.

xX Cat Xx