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| Discussion Title: | Time to move forward - Social Worker App |
| Emoticon: |  |
| Message #: | 2025.1 |
| From: | little_miss  |
| To: | ALL |
| Date: | 21-Jul 21:41 |
| Replies: | 5 |
| Message: |
Hi All Well after my huge crisis in the last few weeks things are back on track. I'm now on the pill and life is back to some sort of normality. I know the last few week is always going to be in the back of my mind till the day i die but it was the right thing for my hubby and i at this point in our lives and we don't regret the decision we made. So as my title says it time to move forward. I'm now on the contraceptive pill and back in the gym and life was made a little sweeter as we recieved a letter from Social Services stating that we have been appointed a Social Worker who will be in touch as soon as she can - I'm excited!!!!! Not that there is many people on this board however those who did give me advice and support i thank you and hope i can return the favour one day. If anyone can give me a rought idea of how long we will wait from recieving this letter to the social worker actually seeing us i'd be grateful Thanks again
Little Miss
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| Discussion Title: | Time to move forward - Social Worker App |
| Emoticon: |  |
| Message #: | 2025.2 in response to 2025.1 |
| From: | catucci |
| To: | little_miss |
| Date: | 22-Jul 15:39 |
| Replies: | 5 |
| Message: |
Hi Little Miss, great to see you back! And what exciting news!!!!! From memory I think we only waited a few weeks until the SW contacted us to start the home study and when she did ring she was ready to come and start there and then! I think the guidelines now state they must complete it in 9-10 months so at least you've now got a good guide as to how the next year's going to pan out.
Good luck with it all and keep us posted on how you're getting on.
xX Cat Xx
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| Discussion Title: | Time to move forward - Social Worker App |
| Emoticon: |  |
| Message #: | 2025.3 in response to 2025.1 |
| From: | moses2008  |
| To: | little_miss |
| Date: | 31-Jul 22:49 |
| Replies: | 5 |
| Message: |
Hi'
Yes. Should be completed and Panel set in 40 weeks, but this does vary, have to say, between Local Authorities. Some will already be counting the 40 weeks. Others wait until after visits, etc and some, well, what can I say!?
Hope you're with a good one. I'm sure you will be fine.
I have to say that I agree with you, people hardly ever seem to post here. I am soooooo surprised, especially as it is such an emotional roller coaster. I've not adopted but have fostered long term and work in adoption, so would be more than happy to chat if you want.
Hope all goes well,
Love Donna.x
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| Discussion Title: | Time to move forward - Social Worker App |
| Emoticon: |  |
| Message #: | 2025.4 in response to 2025.3 |
| From: | little_miss |
| To: | moses2008 |
| Date: | 3-Aug 22:04 |
| Replies: | 5 |
| Message: |
Hi Donna Thanks for the reply i would certainly welcome any advice and information you can give. I have to say i feel completely alone and in limbo at the moment as we know no one that is going through what we are or anyone one that we can relate to. Its so frustrating having to wait for everything. Its been a fortnight now since we have had the letter assigning us our Social Worker and for some silly reason i thought that once we had that letter she would be in touch the following week - How ridiculous is that!
I was so hopping she would though as 5 out of our 7 references live over 250 miles away an during august 3 of them are coming to visit and i was hoping just so they didn't have to make another special visit that she would agree to see them then if she wished, however i don't want to ring and ask as i don't want to seem pushy and impatient (even though i am) The one thing i am really humg up on is my weight and BMI i am currently a size 18/20 weigh 17 stone with a BMI of 39 and although its better that 3 years ago when i was a size 26 weighing 19 1/2 stone with a BMI of 46 i feel that we will still be refused. I am actively trying to loose weigh although not religiouslY. I take medication to help which doesn't help me loose just not put on anymore and i do go to the gym and swim as often as i can and do walk a couple of miles a day with the dog but it just doesn't seem to be enough. I am really worried that if we do get as far as panel they will say no due to my BMI and will not look at my lifestyle and the fact that i have PCOS so its 100 times harder for me to loose weight. I have the feeling that they will say go away loose another couple of stone and come back to us - this would just be our luck as this is what we have faced at every brick wall in our fertility journey. Any way enough of my doom and gloom feel free to email me through my profile if its easier and like i said i'm so grateful to have anyone to share experiences with. What do you work as in adoption? Thanks
Little Miss
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| Discussion Title: | Time to move forward - Social Worker App |
| Emoticon: | |
| Message #: | 2025.5 in response to 2025.4 |
| From: | moses2008 |
| To: | little_miss |
| Date: | 3-Aug 23:18 |
| Replies: | 5 |
| Message: |
Hello,
I can only imagine how lonely you feel, and I know what 'my' adopters have been through. I work as a senior practitioner(posh title for social worker!) but in a small charity, so get very close to couples. we have shared many ups and downs, and I have shared many tears with one couple in particular! Think this is very different to Local Authority (well, I know it is! Not that I'm slagging of LA social workers).
Firstly, I was shocked when I read 5 out of 7 referees. How many do they ask for?! Or, maybe you have lots of people wanting to support you-good.
As for your referees having to travel, the social worker will/should go to them. I've travelled over 200 miles for a reference, although I had to telephone the USA!! BUT, just in case they don't, you are well within your right to ring the social worker and talk to him/her. Just explain your situation. I know that you are probably thinking that you have to impress and do everything that they want, as it seems they hold all the power. I personally believe social workers should be aware of this, acknowledge it, and help people to be themselves. Just remember, adopters are a precious resource and the future parents of children who need them so much! AND, I'm glad to see you are "pushy and impatient" says to me how keen you are.
God, hope you're still with this reply!! Sorry, I waffle a bit!!
And, now to the issue that is worrying you most...yes, BMI is considered, and obviously, I don't know your Local Authority. However, I am aware of the connection between weight and PCOS, as will medical staff, who will be asked to comment, be....
You have lost 2 and 1/2 stone; your BMI has reduced, and you have gone down several dress sizes. I think that is great, and reading about your lifestyle, you are active. Why not talk to your GP about your concerns. Then, hopefully, they can support you and your plans to adopt. I have to say, even without PCOS, I think that it would be understandable for anyone to find 'comfort' in various ways after what you have experienced. I had one mmc, and I completely fell apart.
The only thing that I will say is the adoption process will open this all up again. Please don't feel that you can't have any emotions about this. It would worry me if people didn't, but it is important to recognise how you have coped and are able to 'move on.'
This will be a long, emotional journey, and it will feel at times that it will never end. BUT, it does, honestly!! PLEASE, e-mail me as often as you want, if you don't want to post here. I don't judge, and am more than aware that people just sometimes need to let off steam, or seek support.
Good Luck,
Donna.x
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