Hi girls

Just looking for a bit of advice as DH really doesnt agree with how I want to parent Em and its starting to cause arguments between us.

Em has had a couple of bad nights where she is going to bed later and sleeping less and it's making DH mega cranky.  To be honest I can't handle dealing with Em and my DH who is also acting like a baby.

He keeps saying it's my fault "how she is" because I feed her to sleep and pick her up as soon as she cries.  He wants to try CIO and CC but I'm just not going to let it happen.  He also said the other night that maybe shouting at her will let her know what she is doing is wrong!!!!!!!!!!  He did admit the next day that this was a stupid thing to say and he was just tired... but even still, what a complete idiot.

Does anyone else have this problem with their other halves or is it just me?  DH said he is buying a bed for the the spare room today as he cant handle it anymore...

xxx

Lu and Baby Em

Co CL on Mums Due Aug 09

In all honesty the spare bed idea isn't such a bad one, you get peace and can take Em into bed with no fear of her getting squished under a man :) In all seriousness, my hubby slept mostly in the spare room when the kids were little. It meant he wasn't failing at work through exhaustion as he got some sleep and meant I/we got more sleep because he wasn't there. Obviously it's not for everyone, but it worked for us.

Has he read the stuff about infant mental health from CIO? Might be worth showing him?

Not sure what to suggest re: her going to bed later and later though, I started with a bedtime routine early on with mine. And although it didn't mean they slept all night (far from it!!) they knew it was feed, bath, feed, bed about 7pm. Yes I still had to feed lots in the evenings, but it was wind down time.

I found about 3 months being in the living room in the evenings they didn't sleep, the TV became distracting for them. It was fine when tiny but as they got older it didn't work. So it was upstairs time. I kept the lights dimmed and spoke in whispers any time between 7pm and 7am.

Not sure what else to suggest.

Julie.xx

Thanks hon xx

I guess my immediate thought on him moving to the spare room was what effect will that have on our marriage, but like you have both said, it's probably a very good idea.

I just don't know what to do about Em's bedtime at all.  If I put her down awake in her bed she just cries... up until Sunday night I was able to feed her to sleep and put her down no problem but now she is waking as soon as she goes into her bed!!!  So then I have to pick her up and start all over again...  I know what you mean about TB etc, it DEFO distracts her... hence why I sat in the dark for 3.5 hours last night before eventually giving up and letting her sleep in her vibrating boucy chair...

I know its going to get better, think its just hard as things have been so good for the last 6 weeks.

xxxxxx

Lu and Baby Em

Co CL on Mums Due Aug 09

Thanks Lisa, you guys have made me realise that DH sleeping in the spare room isnt the end of the world and could actually make our situation better not worse.

I think you are right that things always seem worse than they actually are during the night... DH never makes these stupid comments during the day.

thanks again xxx

Lu and Baby Em

Co CL on Mums Due Aug 09