I am feeling guilty about a recent decision, so thought I would run it past you ladies for reassurance/ticking off (go nicely!)/alternative viewpoint etc.  Up till now, we have co-slept the way a lot of people do it; Catherine goes to bed (very well once I feed her to sleep) in her cot which is right by our bed like a co-sleeper, then comes into our bed once she wakes.  That waking can be anything between 11.30 (last night!) and 6.00!  The problem is that once she is in our bed I don't really sleep, as I am a very light sleeper and it is only a double bed - and dh likes to sleep near the middle of the bed so I end up with no room and rampaging claustrophobia!!!  We just bought a super-king mattress (yay!!) which arrives in a couple of weeks.  The cot will no longer fit in our room, and we are not bothering with a bed underneath it so it is not a problem now Catherine is rolling.

Anyway, the issue is whether to dismantle the cot entirely and just have Catherine sleeping in the bed with us full-time, or to move the cot back into her room and carry on as we have been but with her sleeping in her cot in a different room to start with.  I am leaning towards the latter, as she goes down so easily and if it ain't broke an' all that....  But I really feel like I am abandoning one of the central pillars of AP in not keeping her with us (although I never set out to follow it by the book, just discovered that what I was doing by instinct has a name...!) and now feel guilty about that decision even though I think, for my sleep, marital relations (!) and future ease of moving her into her room if/when we have another baby, it is the right one.

What do you think?  I guess I just need someone to tell me that it won't destroy our attachment and that Catherine will be fine...  Sorry it's a bit long and rambling....
JB xxx

Hiya

I need to be fast, but I don't think I get the confusion. If she's always gone into her cot happily in the evenings, then why does a different room change that. So long as when she wakes you go to her? Then she's in your bed. If she's not happy in the cot from the start, then don't do it. I personally would try it and see though as like you say if it ain't broken....

Julie.xx

I thin one of the big problems once you "sign up" to the AP thing is beating yourself up if you sway from the true path in any way, shape or form ;) Oh and also over-thinking things!!
I don't think this needs to be a rigid decision: the obvious thing to me would be to move the cot, put her to bed in it or in your bed, whichever feels right at the time, then bring her in with you once she wakes.
I guess what i am trying to say is you *might* be abandoning your principles but what matters more, principles or finding a sleeping arrangement that works for the whole family? I dont' think this is on the same scale as you suddenly deciding that's it I am doing CIO and I really don't think you need to feel bad :)
Lx

CL on weaning and feeding children, attachment parenting, and mums' club November 06.

Online at turquoise.

Hi,

I think that the two things to remember here is parenting - esp AP - is about balance, and that babies haven't read books - whether by Williams Sears or - shh - Gina Ford! You obv have a good balance for the early part of the night, which you feel you need - so keep it. Will the baby mind that it's not exactly what a book says should happen? No. Think of it like this - when DD2 was newborn someone on my board got very upset because her baby wasn't following the GF routine to the letter. I pointed out that said baby had not read GF, nor had GF met the baby! They found their own way, changed and adapted it and are happy.

Enjoy your early night sleep!

Heather, Felicity and Elizabeth

Taken from the Dr Sears website... "Wherever all family members get the best night's sleep is the right arrangement for your individual family".  So I would say go with your instincts hon, I dont think you are abandoning your principles at all.

xxx

Lu and Baby Em

Co CL on Mums Due Aug 09