Hey Ladies

I hope someone can offer me some advice. DD started school 2 weeks ago and was lucky enough to be at a school where all her friends from nursery were also attending. As I am a teacher at a different school and DH works in the city we have to put her in before and after school club, just until half term when I finish for maternity leave.
For the first week she skipped into school and came out telling us how much she loved school and all was very rosy. But this week she has become clingy and upset. On Tuesday she wouldn't let me go and was screaming as they pulled her away. Yesterday as I left she was stood sucking her thumb as the other children played games in the hall and she told me last night that she did not play with anyone at playtime. She hasn't learnt the names of any new children and says that she is not friends with anyone anymore.
This morning DH and I both took her and although she did not cling or cry (DH had given her a pep talk Tuesday night), her little face was gutted when we left and she looked so scared. She just stood by the door and did not run off to play with anyone. I keep thinking of her face and it breaks my heart!
At the moment I have been signed off work due to stress, exhaustion and a tummy bug. I worry that DD is picking up on all of this and this is why she is withdrawing from other children? At nursery she always had friends and was popular but I am worried now that she is going to alienate herself at a time when all the others are making new friends.

Does anyone have any advice? I am so worried about her- she is such a lovely kid and doesn't have a mean bone in her body. I don't want her to be lonely at school.

TIA

Sue

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Hello fellow boardie!

Your poor DD. The first thing I would do personally is have a chat with her teacher & see what she's like after you've left.  It could be an attention thing.  That's not to say that you're not giving her enough attention, just that it's a big adjustment for her starting school along with a new baby coming too.

Is she going full-time now? The reason I ask is that DS is part-time at the moment & only going full-time from Monday, and he was in the position where he knew a couple of children from his pre-school but the ones I would call his friends are going in the afternoons whereas he's mornings for now so he wasn't seeing them.

I don't have any particular suggestions unfortunately, just wanted to say that it's early days so maybe talk to her teacher & give it a couple more weeks to see what happens?

Hope she has a better day today, and you do too.

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Thanks

have just rung school to say that I will be picking her up at 3.20 instead of her going to club and although I couldn't make an appointment with her teacher I will try and and catch her to talk to her tonight. Thanks for your reply!!
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Hi and welcome

I'm Tracey and I'm a primary head.  I have two boys aged 1 and very nearly 3.  I don't get access to ivillage at work (probably just as well) and tend to come on once I've finished my homework or I'd never get anything done LOL!  I see you've had a response already which I pretty much echo.  How did you get on when you picked DD up?  Did you manage to see her teacher.

I would agree a set routine with her, this is how we are going to say goodbye in the mornings and maybe give her something special to keep with her that will remind her of how much you love her.  Something small and unobtrusive, maybe a hanky or a ribbon that could be pinned to the inside of her jumper but will give her the reassurance that you are with her.  If her teacher didn't suggest it, perhaps the teacher can either direct DD to an activity as soon as she arrives or pair her up with a buddy, an older child who will look out for her.

She is going through a lot at the moment.  All of a sudden, the realisation that school is everyday comes and the novelty has worn off.  Then she has the new baby to think of, as I'm sure you are getting ready for its arrival in some ways and then she is worried about you being poorly.

Would you let us know how you get on?

Tracey

Hi

thanks for your reply. I spoke to her teacher on Friday and she assured me that she seems fine at school and appears to have settled in well. She says she has been playing with lots of different children and seems happy. I said that I would speak to her over the weekend and if she says anything let her know and the teacher says she will keep an eye out for her too. I spoke to DD and all she will tell me is that school is boring. I know that the teacher said they are doing a lot of play at the moment and not too much teaching time so I wonder if things will change when the teaching picks up.
Incidentally I have been called to school today to pick her up as she has been complaining of ear ache and is very upset so I wonder if she has been coming down with something and this is why she has been clingy? In any case she is tucked up on the sofa at the moment and despite this she went in to school quite happily this morning so I am hoping that she is settling a little better now.
Thank you for your advice!
Sue
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