Hi

Not sure if IM posting in the right area - sorry.

My partner hs a 4yo girl, when she is with him, the bedtime routine consists of him putting her in HIS bed, and watching a DVD together until she falls asleep. He then moves her (after a while) to her bed. When she wakes - whcih can be any time, not just morning - she comes back through to his bed and sleeps the rest of the night there.

I think that he has created a problem here cos she will not settle in her own bed (she has daddy wrapped around her little finger) - and I can see in the next couple of years that this bedtime routine will continue, I feel i cant really say anything, as its not my place to.

I remember from when my girls were that age (they are now 16 and 10), they were put to bed in thier own beds, tucked up with stories, etc and if they came through at 2am (for examle), as long as they were ok, they were put back to thier own beds.

What do others think?

Hiya,

My 4 year old has the following routine - teeth (bath twice a week), book, lights out. She likes to have her door open slightly but never comes out execpt to the loo. she did start calling for me every 5 mins but i quickly stopped that as there was nothing really wrong - just a delaying tactic. I like the evenings to myself so have always been VERY strict with lights out/sleep - i wouldnt even turn the light on when feeding a new baby.

I'm afraid your hubby needs to change the routine - but maybe he feels its his special time? I could understand that.

hth

Sara x

Thanks for your reply.

As he only sees her every other w/e, I fully appreciate that time together is precious. My concerns are that she sees his bed as her own, and it means that when Im there, I have to sleep in the spare room. My other concern is that he will find it so very difficult to break this cycle, and it could create problems in the future.

I have suggested (gently) that he starts cutting the DVDs out of bedtime, and reading stories instead, with a view to eventually reading stories in her bed at bedtime - but she makes such a fuss if she is told no to a dvd, that he has found it easier just to give in :(
I also think that he should return her to her bed when she comes through.

But as I dont live there, and am only there from time to time when she is, I really feel that 1 - its not my place and 2 - it would create tension between us.