Hi ladies,

Sometimes I don't understand why Sam gets upset, I know about certain situations, loud noises etc but sometimes he has an outburst after doing something nice.

Take today for instance, he has been lovely all day and we did some baking - Sam joined in and helped which he doesn't usually, he's more bothered about eaing the end product! Well he really enjoyed making the scones and ate one when it came out of the oven but ever since he's been crying, telling me he's upset and angry etc.  It's as if doing something he enjoyed but doesn't usually do makes him have a tantrum and I don't really get it.

Does anyone elses asd children do this?

Love Elaine, Michelle (17), Sam ASD (5) & Erin (3)

Hiya,

My dd is the same. (I feel although i cant say for sure) that they get confused and upset because what would normally happen hasnt, and they feel insecure by it, unsure how to deal with their emotions it comes out as tantrums and upset. They are still too young to really explain it. The thing with ASD is that they need to see the pictures in their brain to understand a situation - until its happened they have no pictures.

When this happens at home, I usually find the next time they do the same activity it isnt as bad, they have done it once before so its no longer an unknown, you may find this also.

I hope this has helped - you are not alone

Keep in touch

Sara x

(joseph 9 asd, thomas 7 and Emma 4 asd?)

Hi Sara,

Thanks so much for your reply, your thoughts on this do really make sense, I sometimes find it difficult wondering what goes on in his little head and trying to understand him. 

There is a great looking support group not too far from where I live which I am going to visit in the next week or so, it's a drop in group run by people who either have asd/aspergers or have relatives affected by it.  I think it will help to chat to others in the same situation.

Thanks again for your reply.

Love Elaine

Michelle (17), Sam ASD (5) & Erin (3)

xx

Hi Elaine

I know you of old (Mums CLub JS2004) but haven't been around for a good while and have a new name- I used to be ricicle. I don't know yet if my DS1 is ASD (as we are at the start of the process) but he is the similar to what you have described and I find really confusing (and tiring!)

I sometimes think he is upset because the activity was good or better than he thought and now it is over and he has to deal with the fact it has finished. He can sometimes cry at the end of a meal, programme, trip to the dentist(!) and I think it's because he has to re-adjust to the fact it's time to do something else/do nothing etc and it's so much harder for him than most people to do that and transitions are so so major. All change is bad/upsetting in his eyes, even tiny things which happen all the time i.e. end of tea time.

These are just guesses though- I wish I had the answers! On the plus side we took him to the cinema for the first time today which I was dreading but he coped really well- largely due to carefully chosen seats I think and us letting him decide exactly when we left the cinema at the end etc so that is a real positive and I remember from a recent post of yours that you had a good experience with a show recently so I suppose it's constant ups and downs. He has had no major melt downs over the cinema, just a bit of stress this evening but I think he is processing it all which I expected. Mind you, he has been saying the same thing over and over again since we saw the film and asking us the same question again and again so that's fun ;)

I understand how you feel and I'm sorry I can't say anything to make you feel any better- for what it is worth, Sam is very lucky to have you to help him make sense of things. I know that sounds a bit wishy washy but I do think it's the thing which will make all the difference.

Hugs xx

Hiya, Its great to hear from you again!  Jac has been trying to get the old board moving again if you fancy popping over.

Sorry to hear that you have similar issues with your DS but at least you are now hopefully going to get some help from the professionals - our paediatrician and speech therapist have been wonderful, they have given me strategies all the way along for helping Sam with his difficulties, especially his concentration.

His school have been great aswell, he has 1 to 1 every morning and regular meetings to discuss his progress and set him individual targets.

So glad to hear you had a good experience at the cinema, I just know Sam would run a mile at the dark and loud noise - it wouldn't even be worth a try!  Haircuts are the worst, he screams until it's finished!

Are you on f/book at all?  I'm on there quite a bit (too much lol), if you are e-mail me through my profile and I'll add you!

Love ELaine xx

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