Hi, I am writing this and I am still so freaked out. I got a phone call last night from my daughter's father's girlfriend, telling me that she has started her periods. My daughter has been 11 for exactly 11 days. She has special needs and DD is worried about it. I feel crap that I am not there with her, to comfort her, to explain to her. That the girlfriend is explaining it, she is not her mum. :( I get on very well with the G/F and she has known DD for years, as we were friends way before she got with the father . Anyway that isn't the issue. The periods at 11 has really scared me. She has terrible toilet habits anyway. And is in a special needs school due to having learning disabilities.

How to I explain it, how do I teach her about hygiene that comes with Periods. When she doesn't fully understand wiping her self after going to toilet anyway. I can't wait to see her as she has been away for a week with her dad. I feel like I have let her down as I am not there with her.

Sorry to go on. But any advice would be great.

Hi Kirsty,

I don't have any experience of dealing with periods in terms of a special needs child but I just wanted to offer my support. I understand why you fell you've let her down (it's a mum thing I guess) but you truly haven't and the fact that you are already searching for a way to ease it for her shows what a great mum you are.

I'm sorry I don't have any advice about the questions you asked but I thought I should mention that I started my periods very early too but they weren't monthly for quite some time so you may have longer than you think before she has another one, although I realise the issue is still going to need to be addressed soon either way.

Sorry I can't be more help and I hope you find a way of helping her cope with it all.

xx

hi

sounds just like my daughter.

shes 12 now so has been having hers for just over a year, started in the school holidays last summer just before she went to a new special school.

she still has bad toilet habits too, and i worried how she'd cope, but she has really surprised me with how calm and grown up she was when it happened. especially as she was so young so its not something we'd got round to talking about yet. i just told her it was normal and basically why it happened and got ready for any questions she had.

the school were good with her too, they have a lovely school nurse that she feels comfortable talking to if she needs to.

the only problems we really had was reminding her when/who it was appropriate to talk about her periods with (after she mentioned it to the boys at school :/) and keeping track of when she's due because she tends not to tell me, which would be ok, but she also forgets to take extra pads to school and sometimes needs reminding to change it. shes getting the hang of it though, like with everything it just takes time and a lot of repetition and eventually it usually sinks in.

oh and the moods! how could i forget! do you remember kevin the teenager? :/ lol

good luck! :)

Hi there,

Having 4 boys I am lucky to have escaped dealing with someone elses periods! However my advice to you would be to talk to your childs class teacher and school nurse, and maybe even the consultant as I am sure they will all be able to offer you great guidance and support for helping your daughter.

Hope this helps
Natx