hope you dont mind me whinging on here but as you know, when you're a single parent, there's often no-one else to whinge to

i've had a really rough week - was admitted to hospital as an emergency on wednesday and kept in til late on friday. my family all live 250 miles away and my partner lives 130 miles away - my friends at work were absolutely brilliant and sprang into action organising the boys for me - they were taken to school, picked up, taken to football, brought to visit me and someone had them to sleepover for the 2 nights i was away. i still feel embarrassed almost by all they did and dont know how to begin to thank everyone.

but this is whats upsetting me - the thought that i feel so lonely. my partner rang to keep updated but didnt come to see me and doesnt seem to be about to now i'm home; it was my birthday a few weeks ago and i didnt see him then - i did see him last weekend and got a lovely belated present. my family have all been in regular contact since hearing i was in hospital and since i got back home but i had been upset because i didnt receive a single phone call from any of them on my birthday. am i being petty? they have always been so supportive to all 3 of us in the time since my ex left. is my partner just being a typical man and needing the obvious spelling out?

the whole hospital situation has just rammed home to me that i really am alone and i feel very lonely

I'm sorry you've been poorly and hope that you're on the road to recovery.

I can't help you, I'm afraid, as I happen to be having similar thoughts.  Mainly down to my sister.

I totally understand where you're coming from though.  I'm so glad that your friends were such a tremendous support.

With your partner, I think possibly yes, he does need things spelling out to him.  And then if things still don't happen then perhaps just accepting this is how he is.

I did have a b/f - who is now a friend - and one of the reasons is because he didn't seem to be able to consider me - even after spelling it out...

Best wishes

Jane

thanks for your reply

i think you're right with regards to b/f - when i first started getting ill earlier in the week, he just said "i dont know what to say hun" - he's so supportive in many ways and helps me with lots of "practical" stuff, he's always telling me he loves me but i dont think its even entered his head that i might want him here when i feel so rubbish

i rarely get upset about anything when i talk to him but if i do he tries to make a joke and change the subject - i just wish now and then he would realise i really need some emotional support sometimes - being a single parent, i feel i just have to dispense it all the time!

Can't really add any words of support except to say you're not alone in your thoughts.  I have often had similar thoughts, I have no friends, only one family member who's only 30 miles away but she might as well be 250 miles away and when my kids are with their dad I can do for days without seeing or hearing from another soul. Brings to mind the fact if anything happened to me no-one would know, except those people who see me online day after day wondering where I am, but wouldn't do anything about it.

It seems when you become a single mum, the fact you have to be independent makes others think you don't need anyone :(