having just come out of hospital, i find out today that after ONE, yes one payment, my ex has informed the csa he is now out of work. as you may have read in my previous postings, it had taken 7 years for me to get that far - he's always refused saying i only have to ask - how humiliating. any time i mentioned setting something up on a more formal and regular basis, he just replied that he would go bankrupt and disappear and that i would have my home wrecked and be hurt myself.

i suppose i was expecting this as it seemed too good to be true when the csa paperwork came through saying what his payments would be - at first he had refused to comply and they were going to go through his employer. he then miraculously set up a direct debit which set my alarm bells ringing as i thought he would then just refuse to have money in that account - now i know it was so he could claim to have lost his job. the csa are calling me tomorrow to set up investigations as i had already informed them that he had always threatened me etc if i went through them.

i cant believe what possesses a man to feel he is in the right to abandon his children and then not to provide for them - i am so angry i cant stop crying. i cant believe all the worry and stress about money is back again - my salary is just above all the thresholds for many benefits but a struggle on its own. i've been signed off for a week to rest after being in hospital and am now worried sick - what have i done to deserve all the c*** that has come my way in the past 7 years?? :-(

Loads of hugs - which I know are pretty useless when they're virtual.

He's a git - and always will be.

My ex came back from Greece 10 days ago, constantly tells the children he has no money (when he gets around to seeing them, that is), is in arrears with the CSA - which makes no odds anyway as he lies about his  job - tells them about the one he words 12 hours a week with, but not about his second job...

I don't understand how a parent (and there are plenty of mother's who do this too) can choose not to be responsible for their children.

Jane