Hi

I would really welcome some advice.

I have found out from my children that their dad is planning on taking them, his girl friend and 2 of her children to a football match next weekend.

My problem is that they are all planning on going in one 5 seater car and the journey will take about an hour and a half and is mostly on motorways.  I don't think I am being unreasonable in not wanting them to make this journey as I don't believe 4 children of 9, 10. 12 and 13 can be safe in the back of a car with 3 seat belts. 

I would like advice in how to talk to my ex without him thinking I am interfering in how they spend their time with the children and trying to spoil their fun but I also want him to understand that I am serious in not wanting them to go in one car.  They do own 2 cars between them but I don't think she likes driving on motorways.  Can anybody else think of how I could put this to him?  Also I would like your views on whether or not you think I am acting reasonably.  It would after all be against the law!

My daughter spoke to her dad on the phone last night and he did confirm that this was how they were planning on going and she said he would have to discuss it with me but I don't think he will unless I bring it up first.

Thanks for reading

Angel x

Hi and welcome to the board :-)

I think you should ask your ex yourself how they plan to travel and if he says they're going in one car, then I think you need to tell him that you object. I wouldn't let my children travel without a seatbelt, even if that meant irritating the adult who was driving. It's a safety issue and therefore there is no room for compromise, IMO.

Love,

Hi,

I would most definitely say something immediately. Not only is it illegal but completely unsafe! How would he live with himself if there was an accident and all the children aren't in the vehicle properly and safely?

Totally unacceptable and I would be making it clear, whether or not it caused an argument.

The other replies you had are quite right to point out the safety aspects.  But I need to contradict Helen's point about it being illegal.  This is technically inaccurate.

The law states that if there are not enough seat belts or child restraints in the car for all the passengers, then some may legally travel in the rear of the vehicle without wearing a seat belt. This may be legal, but it is not safe. Between 8 and 15 front seat occupants are killed every year by unbelted rear seat passengers flying forward in an accident.

The safest option is to only carry the same number of passengers as there are seat belts. If necessary, use two cars or make two journeys for the trip.

If you must carry a passenger for whom there is no seat belt, it is better for the heaviest passengers to wear a seat belt, because they would cause more severe injuries to other people in the car if they are thrown about in a crash.

Best thing is to speak to your ex and see what he thinks.