Hi,

My son turned 13 in the summer and he is just turning into a nightmare. This all may sound a little harsh but I don't like who he is becoming one little bit. I don't like anything about him. He is just a hinderance and no fun to be around and I hate saying all of that!!

He is lazy, a slob, thinks the world owes him a favour, doesnt seem to think rules apply to him, cant be bothered to breath half the time!!! He is causing such misery in the household! Another problem is his younger brother is picking up his bad habits.

No amount of me talking nicely, getting angry or anything gets through to him. He simply doesnt seem to care.

I am at the end of my tether and I got another 5 years of this :-(

I really dont know what to do

Sorry to moan

Claire xxxxx

Hi

Welcome to the board, I am sorry you are having to go through this but I think it defintely sounds as though much of this is typical teen behaviour, those of us with teens will recognise many of the signs and will sigh sympathetically with you.

For some parents their child becoming a teen is a gradual process, for others their little darling becomes a royal pain in the ass almost overnight, I always remember Harry Enfield's "Kevin" character, who went from a nice, obedient little boy to a surly, moody and spotty little horror when he woke up.

Don't feel guilty about admitting you don't like your son. This board is a place where any of us can rant away about our troublesome teens and we can do it without fear of being judged. I have 2 teen boys, 16 and nearly 15 and tbh I don't always like them or their behaviour, they can be unbelievably selfish and really really test my patience to the limit.

I would say though that you do need clear boundaries and rules with your teen, they may think they are too old for rules but they desperately need them and you need to be consistent as well.  He may be going through some difficult changes atm but that doesn't mean he can walk all over everyone. I would try and ignore it if you can as that may be the solution. I have found arguing with teenagers is pretty pointless but don't be afraid to take away his privileges if necessary, he may say he doesn't care but he will.

I t will get better, I promise, it may be that he is finding his feet and is confused about all the bodily changes and hormones racing around his sytem. A lot of teen behaviour is down to the way their brain develops and the hormones that affect that. Just remember you are not alone. We all know what you are going through and will try and offer support or just a shoulder to cry on if you need it.

Hi Claire,

I really empathise with you as I could have written your post myself.

My son will be 13 in december and he behavior is exactly how you describe your son's to be. I'm finding every day a challenge and have done for the past couple of months. I love my son so much and we used to be so close , but there has been such a change in him in recent weeks. He seems not to care about anything, wants to give up all his sporting activities, and regularly tells me how much he hates me. It's so exhausting.

I'm afraid I have no advice for you, as i'm struggling myself, but I do know what you're going through.

hugs,

Lou x