Hoping someone can help with this!

DS is almost 4 and potty trained in a matter of days at around 2.5.

Over the spring/summer he started to poo in his pants. Usually just a small amount before I notice him straining but sometimes he has actually emptied his bowel - yuk!

If I catch him and ask if he needs the toilet he usually says no and then a few moments later will say he does and take himself off as if he doesn't want to admit it to me cos he's embarrased that I've caught him.

He usually only does it at home.

DH and I have tried what feels like everything! We've done immediate rewards, sticker charts with a present after x amount of stickers, ignoring it and making light of it, really being cross with him and I've even put him back into a nappy on odd occaisions to see if that would shock him into using the toilet properly!

When I ask why he does it he says he is busy and doesn't want to stop doing what he's doing and that he is squeezing his poo back inside until he is ready to go!! I've tried to explain that if he just goes it takes a few minutes instead of taking ages to clean him up and change him but it makes no difference.

DH wants to get tough with him now but I feel it's just a phase really. I don't think it's emotionally linked to anything. I think he genuinely doesn't want to stop what he is doing and that he thinks he can hold it.

Any ideas greatly appreciated,

Rachel x

 

It will just be a phase.  As he gets older he will realise that doing it in your pants is smelly and messy and not nice to clean up afterwards. 

My DS#2 has to be reminded to go to the toilet (he's 6), mainly for pees but sometimes he will get a sore tummy and forget/not realise that he's actually needing a poo.  He gets engrossed in playing and hates to stop 'just' to go to the toilet.  When he was younger he would have poo accidents, when he obviously left it too late, or just didn't want to stop his game.  Nowadays I just remind him (when he goes into school, when he gets home etc) that he might like to use the toilet (I suggest to him that he goes 2-3 times at school for a pee, minimum once because sometimes he comes home feeling yuck and then he tells me he's not been all day).

It's best not to get cross.  You don't want your child to feel ashamed or embarrassed.  You just want your child to stop the habit which isn't nice for either of you.  I think continuing to talk about it, explaining how much easier and quicker it is just to go to the toilet for 5 mins will probably work in the long run.  Until it does, I think you have to be patient.

Let us know how you get on.

Merith xxx

 

CL on Mums Club October 2005 and Mums Due June 2009 and Sleep Problems & Toilet Training

 

Thanks Merith.

I knew all along that what you said it the reason/answer. I am a nursery teacher and I am always advising parents. It's different when you're the parent though and although I can hear myself giving my own advise I needed to hear it from someone else!

Hopefully he'll grow out of it soon!

Rachel x