Hi ya,

Hey!  Think of it this way -

                                              YOU ARE FREE OF HIM

(relationshipwise).  His new gf ISN'T!

Don't let him continue to push your buttons.

Just concentrate on getting better and moving on, and if you can start to make ammends with your mum.

Love n thoughts,

dills

hiya
sorry its taken a while to write back,been upto the hospital for some procedures(still dont know whats wrng with me though,wont find out for 3 weeks or more).

well ive dealt with my ex,i emailed him on exactly how i felt and i got the answers that i needed.i feel like i can move on now.Its tough because am still hurting but i dont want him back.Its really affected me though as i am scared of getting into another relationship as i dont want to be hurt or go through that again.he wants to be friends but i cant do it.

I could do with some advice about my mum and my family as my mum laid into me on the phone last week and she basicaly said that i deserved what happened to me as a child and that its all my fault.That am lazy,will never achieve anything etc.I cant believe she blames me for what happened,how on earth is it my fault,i was a child.Ive tried so hard with my mum but what am i supposed to do now?how can i have a relationship with her after what shes said?My sister and brothers wont talk to me now either.
I have been so ill and now my family have turned there back on me.I feel so alone and just cant cope.I know am physicaly not well but all this has effected me mentaly and its like ive had a break down.The thought of going back to work,well i just cant do it,i cant do anything.
All i have in the world is a couple of good friends.one of which lives with me and she has been amazing,she came into my life when i was at my worst and when i reallly need someone,its like shes been sent to me.but now she is moving out in a few days and i dont know what am going to do without her.I understand why shes moving out and she said she will still see me but its not going to be the same.i need someone to look after me.

I really want to get better,get a new job,go out etc but i just cant and dont know what to do.i feel like i just need some time but what if it goes on for yrs?

any advice would be appreiated.

Hello there,ive just been reading your post and i just wanted to give you some hope.Not sure why its been so quiet on here as ive only just come on this board.I dont know what your history is but im guessing you had some abuse as a child?Forgive if im wrong.Have you had an counselling at all because ive found it very helpful at difficult stages of my life,its well worth a go.I understand about you feeling so ill ,ive been ill since Febuary and although it seems never ending you must believe they will make a diagnosis one day,try not to be too negative.As fior the bloke,do not have any more contact with him,you have to protect yourself and you certainly do no need his silly games.As for your family there isnt a magic wand,alot of us ,me included do have rotten family problems and sometimes we have to accept them while we work on making ourselves stronger.I understand about your friend moving out and how scary that must feel especially when your not well but you wont be totally alone as you have your pc and i know i have many friends on here that i can get support from.Will your friend be moving far away and does your other friend live nearby?Do you know what i think sometimes hun?I think stuff the lot of you when the chips are down and i am gonna get through this with or without you and i look for places i CAN get support in a safe way ie a counsellor,group therapy etc.

I hope i have made some sense and that you can find support to help you through and i am always around if you want to get in touch.

Ali x

hi ali
thanks for your reply.i appreciate it.how are u doing?

I actualy went out the house today on my own,big step as i havnt been out on my own for 4months,one because ive been ill and also for fear that ill get ill when am out.I know that prob sounds silly but i cant help it.The doctor has put me on anti-depressants and got the hospital appointment on the 22nd to find out whats wrong with me.I cant believe its not long to christmas,this year has just gone,ive been ill for most of it.

yeah your right,i was sexualy abused by my own father and then my step father tried to grom me,i told my mum and at first she went mad and said am gana kill him etc and then the next day he was back in the house.i meet my ex and left home at 18.i thought my ex was my knight in shinning armor but he turned out to be abusive(verbaly and stranggled me once saying he was gana kill me,cheated on me and many other things)we were together 6yrs before i plucked up enough courage to leave him in feb.

Ive tried so hard to sort things out with my mum but she blames me for what happened and wont except the truth.she actualy told me that i lie and basicaly finds it hard to believe it happened twice.my sister and brothers wont talk to me which i have a feeling why.there dad is very malipative.
Anyway am wofferling on,ive just been really down lately,everything in my life is shit(apart from a few friends.most things i can change but going to take a while but i cant change my family.i feel so alone with out them.and dont know what am going to do now without them.i told my mum that i am really down and on tabs and she was like u just need to get a job,i said thats not my main problem and basicaly the family is and how theve turned there back on me etc.shes no help at all,has never been there for me when ive needed her.
i am in councerling for about 3 yrs now but havnt seen my councerlor for a while as been ill.
Thanks for the chat.take care
x