Board Name: The Infidelity Debate
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midnightexpress  Member Icon

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Last visit: 26-Aug

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Discussion Title:Temporary Insanity?
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Message #:601.1
From:midnightexpress  Member Icon
To:ALL
Date:26/04/2009 17:59
Replies:24
Message:

Hi there,

We've had this debate before but it was quite some time ago so I thought it might be useful to revisit with new posters on board.

"Temporary insanity" or "temporary mental instability" is often given as a reason for the behaviour of cheating partners on the CWI Board and people involved in affairs on the MA Board. Is it a valid reason for their behaviour?

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Discussion Title:Temporary Insanity?
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Message #:601.2 in response to 601.1
From:bethany321
To:midnightexpress  Member Icon
Date:26/04/2009 21:19
Replies:24
Message:

"Temporary insanity" or "temporary mental instability" is often given as a reason for the behaviour of cheating partners on the CWI Board and people involved in affairs on the MA Board.

From my own observation of these boards, generally those descriptions are assigned by the BS (CWI) or on the MA board, by others not engaged in an EMA.

Is it a valid reason for their behaviour?

A better question would be whether the description is valid...not whether the assigned (non-professionally diagnosed) purported emotional state is valid with regard to subsequent behavior.

Or, to be more literal:  If someone is truly insane or emotionally unstable, they couldn't really be responsible for their behavior, could they?  So, in such rare circumstances, "temporary insanity" (is there such a thing?) would render someone incapable of making correct decisions and would therefore be a valid reason for any type of behavior, infidelity being just one 'behavior' as it were.

 

 

Discussion Title:Temporary Insanity?
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Message #:601.3 in response to 601.1
From:innerearthmother  Member Icon
To:midnightexpress  Member Icon
Date:26/04/2009 21:36
Replies:24
Message:

"Is it a valid reason for their behaviour?"

My opinion is that no, it's not a valid reason but does make a convenient excuse. Similar excuses paraded include the 'overcome by lust/love, couldn't help myself,' variety.

My reasons are:

True temporary insanity would most likely render the sufferer incapable of the lying, planning, organising, deceit etc.

Removing from the debate any reduction of inhibition or awareness caused by the use of alcohol or drugs; having an affair or a one night stand does involve a series of decisions being made by the participants.

Just because you regret those decision later doesn't mean you didn't consciously make them originally.

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freckles69  Member Icon

Last visit: 12-Jun

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Discussion Title:Temporary Insanity?
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Message #:601.5 in response to 601.1
From:freckles69  Member Icon
To:midnightexpress  Member Icon
Date:27/04/2009 15:36
Replies:24
Message:

Hi ME,

I can speak from experience about this "Temporary insanity" or "temporary mental instability".When h had his affair the old excuse of I wasn't right in the head was given.

When I found out about the affair I would have to be honest and say that for some time prior to finding out h was indeed not his usual self.Once it was out in the open his behaviour became even more bizarre.The way I seen it was now that he had been found out and his bad behaviour had been made public he acted like a rebellious teenager wanting to shock and wanting to be reckless as if he had no responsibility.People said mid life crisis and in a way I viewed it this way myself due to various statements he made"you have held me back tied me down with kids"(yeah right).

My honest opinion is yes h was going through something as his behaviour and attitude towards myself and the children was bizarre but do I feel that his affair could be put down to "temporary mental instability" or "a mid life crisis".Absolutely not what a load of b*****s.

At the end of the day nothing can excuse an affair and the pain it causes.As has been mentioned in a previous post this excuse is given time after time.Surely a person who has temporarily lost their marbles would find it hard to conduct an affair which takes planning and organisation.

To say it was a temporary insanity is to not own their own bad behaviour. 

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