Hi Melinda and welcome to the board,

The thing that shouts out to me from your post, is why you would want to spy on your DIL?

 

CL on Coping with Infidelity, The Infidelity Debate, My Affair,  Families Affected by Addiction , Coping with a Crisis

WHat a horrible situation you are in!

What advice have you had so far?

I expect you may have been encouraged to talk to the DiL - is your relationship open enough to do that?  Can you do it anyway?  If you have a tape it is not as if it is her word against yours should you need to disclose things.

Is there any chance that it is something your son is aware of and turning a blind eye to?  Horrid question, but have to ask - sorry.

I have absolutely no experience at all to help here, other than my experience as a mother of grown up kids, and whilst I can say 'I would do this or that' i might be wrong in the event i found myself in your situation.

Tell us a bit more and even if I can't help I will listen

love

Featherwings

"Firstly Karen, you ask why I would want to 'spy' on my daughter in law. Well, it didnt cost me anything and I knew I would get answers - one way or another."

Whether it cost you anything or not, you still didn't answer the question. Which I appreciate is your right.

But then you went on to defend yourself:-

"If I'm honest I have never really thought she could be trusted. You get gut feelings about some people, even before you really know them - and quite often your initial feeling turns out to be true.

Just for the record I am not some old bored, narrowminded Ma in law. I have only recently retired after having a job that took me all over the world. So I have seen a bit of life and I know what goes on...however I am still happily married for 37 years."

Which also made "me" curious, so you never liked her! Doesn't mean she's going to cheat, any more than it means you will, no matter where you've travelled. Oh and why does what you've done matter?

 

CL on Coping with Infidelity, The Infidelity Debate, My Affair,  Families Affected by Addiction , Coping with a Crisis