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| Discussion Title: | how do I trust him again? |
| Emoticon: |  |
| Message #: | 7103.1 |
| From: | bex1983  |
| To: | ALL |
| Date: | 2-Nov 13:49 |
| Replies: | 4 |
| Message: |
Hiya
bit of backround info
h met ow through friends, started chatting on fb etc he has issues with attention/affection and wasn't getting much from me due to our 4 kids, one of them being a new baby so basically went and got it elsewhere. Well after a week of me badgering him that something wasn't right, he confessed all to me and told me he had feelings for her and wasn't sure what he wanted so went to stay with a friend for a few days to sort himself out. Thiswent on for a few wks with him coming back and going to his friend's although I think he was with her. He then decided he wanted to work it out but went out with his mates one night and didn't come back, next thing he;s asking for his stuff etc. He left although said it wasn't for her just needed to sort himself out. He spent a few weeks staying between her's and his mates house and is insisting he's being honest with me from then on but I told him I didn't want to know. He then rented a room, somewhere for a few wks and told me he wanted to come home and was still being nice to her as he was trying to get his stuff back that he had left there then would break all contact with her and sort out his fb page (block her and her mates, delete her posts etc). He said he was done and was coming home this wk but last wk I got a phone call saying he had all his stuff and wanted to come straight home so I let him back.
As soon as he got in he sorted out his fb page but was still getting txts and calls but ignored them so all was going well. then Sat he took kids out trick or treating with his mate but she turned up with her kids as she's friends with him too but he was told that she wouldn't be there so got annoyed with his mate for setting him up but do I believe that? then Sun he get's a call from the police saying that he needs to go straight down to her's as no-one can find her, she'd sent a weird txt to her family and h appologising for things and dropped her kids off with their dad. So after some deliberating as to whether to go or not he went and found her having just downed pills and wine etc. He went to hospital with her and when she came round she told him it wasn't over him, she has a violent ex that was harrasing her, something that h had experienced while he was spending time with her. He had to back up her story to the police and was back late last night but again do I believe all this? Anyway she has told him she still loves him etc (it was 2 months!) but wants him to be happy as he is with his family but wants him as a friend as she needs people around her right now etc.
Through out all this he's told me he loves me and has been coming round regularly to see me and the kids and does seem to be making an effort around the house like I asked and with the kids and telling me/showing me txts, phoning me regularly when he's out and reassuring me that he's coming home as I have it stuck in my head from before that whenever he goes out he's not coming back. He's told his friends and family that he's home and he was stupid etc but I just can't stop questioning everything and it's really getting to me.
Any advice most welcome
Bex xx
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| Discussion Title: | how do I trust him again? |
| Emoticon: | |
| Message #: | 7103.3 in response to 7103.1 |
| From: | sexysoo |
| To: | bex1983 |
| Date: | 2-Nov 21:17 |
| Replies: | 4 |
| Message: |
hi, just wanted to say that not getting enough attention cos you were busy with the kids sounds like a bit of a rubbish excuse for cheating....he doesn't sound very sorry!
i think you need a clean break from him to see where the chips fall. that's what i did with my ex and by the time he came back i din't want him any more. everything you've written all sounds like high drama and like the last poster said, i don't think the ow should be in his life, is he going to say how high every time she asks him to jump or creates some new drama? he needs to make things up to you, not be taken in by her emotional blackmail, otherwise it ain't gonna work
i'd tell him to get shot of her otherwise you walk......otherwise he's just going to carry on as he is.
ss
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| Discussion Title: | how do I trust him again? |
| Emoticon: | |
| Message #: | 7103.4 in response to 7103.3 |
| From: | sarahat  |
| To: | bex1983 |
| Date: | 2-Nov 21:37 |
| Replies: | 4 |
| Message: |
I also agree that the OW has to be totally out of your life before you can ever begin to work on things. How can you even begin to get over what has happened when the OW is constantly on the scene asking for his 'friendship' and support? He should be there supporting and caring for you - his wife.
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