Not sure how to put this but here goes.

Years ago I found myself fancying a woman from my work.  Nothing came of it, but I liked feeling the way I did about her and she was the first woman I fancied, so I decided I must be bisexual.   I then wanted to explore this further so joined some gay groups to meet other gay women.  This went on for a while and then I decided I was a lesbian.   This faded after a while and I started to fancy men again.  I then reverted to calling myself straight.   In the back of my mind, my feelings for women never really went away but my feelings for men overtook it and were stronger so I continued to say to myself I was no longer gay or bi, but hetrosexual.

Then recently, and especially at the time of my monthly period I would start to have sexual thoughts about women again.   There is one particular woman who joined my work a few months ago.  I thought nothig of it but the last few weeks I have felt myself becoming attracted to her.  I am on my period and this week it is particularly bad.  I have to interact with her for work and I find myself getting shy around her and slightly embarrassed.  We get on quite well though.

I am wondering if although I am calling myself heterosexual and my feelings for men are at the moment stronger than my feelings for women, could my bisexuality still be with me lurking and coming out from time to time when it is the time of the month and you are at your most vulnerable sexually due to certain things happening to your body when you ovulate?

Personally, I find looking a a womans body more arousing than a mans - they have more shape and are more interesting (and less hairy)! Note that I have never been with a woman and while i can appreciate womens attractiveness, I am married to a male partner. I think you are being preoccupied with 'labeling' yourself and you don't need to do this.  I am sure every woman has found another woman attractive at some point in their lives and this does not mean that they are bi-sexual, homosexual or whatever - it just shows an appreciation for the human form. I think character has a lot to do with it too so if this woman at work you found/find attractive has qualities which would match or compliment your own then you find yourself attracted to her.  This may have been the same regardless or whether she was male or female.  I remember seeing an absolutely  gorgeous woman while on holiday in Germany and a friend tellingn me she was a transvestive and it really brought home to me what we find attractive in someone.  The fact was, this 'woman' actually had all the male workings but looked very feminine (and very beautiful) - and how can you tell from the outside?! Something was attractive to me about her which I recognised before my friend told me she was actually a male so I think it has a lot to do with who you click with as well.  As for your comment about certain times of the month - YES! I completely agree! At certain times of the month my fantasies (and they are only fantasies because I am married) vary from women and men - it just depends how I am feeling!   I hope this helps a bit but the bottom line is - dont worry about branding yourself with something - just be you and be happy :-)

Hello,

I'm a newbie on this board although i've been using ivillage for ages, i'm addicted! I think its right to say you are preoccupied with labelling yourself. I have a good friend who likes both men and women, but she doesnt label herself as bisexual, her thinking is that the first and most important thing is if there is chemeistry, regardless of whether the person in question has a vagina or a penis. I have to say i agree with her and its quite refreshing to know somebody with sucjh a relaxed, open minded attitude.

My advice would be stop seeing people as men and women, and just see them as people with whom you have an attraction and chemisrty with

Beth : )

Hi there and welcome to the board

I completely agree with figleave you need to stop worrying about what label you fit into - gay hetrosexual bi sexual , after all doe sit make any difference which one you are ???

I am a big believer that you fall for a person not what colour sex size age etc they are

As for time of month with me its just what mood im in at the time lol rather than when it is lol

take care Shellie x