Hi Board,

been reading through all these posts - so dont want mine to sound really melodramatic ... but if I am unhappy in my job due to 'bitchyness' of colleagues, is this bullying?

I am in a team of 10 women, and have been for the last 18 months, and the 'atmosphere' has been unavoidable from the start and there seems to be such a 'click' which I have tried to ignore - and have mentioned to my boss on several occassions, but he just says its up to us to confront the person.

I normally dont show emotions, but am by no means insenstive, and its been wearing me down for the last 12 months, to the point I dread coming into work, it upsets me, and I dont want to be here (work not life! :O) )

occassion 1 - other colleagues checking up on my work to check my productivity (raised with manager)

occassion 2 - caught a collegue instant messaging another team member making remarks about me (raised with manager

occassion 3 - deliberatley being excluded from lunches, social events etc etc (myself & 2 others) where another person has actually heard these 'witches' talking about their plans and actually saying 'but dont invite the girls at the top' (of the aisle)

occasion 4 - my breaks & lunches being monitored (by team) and fedback to manager ! despite not taking long lunches or breaks etc

occassion 5 - me saying a comment 'wow you must have been hungry' when one of the girls ate her sandwhich in about 5 seconds (was just meant to be a flippant comment) greeted with 'oh my god, you never shut up - you do my head in'

I mean, it all seems to high school to me, by the way these women are all 28+ !!! and I would like to think would know better. but it seems they dont. I have tried to ignore it - but the 'team' is totally split down the middle. its been raised from us 3 with our manager repeatedly, but nothing is done. I'm not sure what we have actually done to deserve this - but its horrid, and have never felt so victimised since I was in school !!

I dont know what else to do ? How do you stop it ?

exclusion in itself isnt bullying in my opinion. BUT the emotional stress that youre being caused could be seen to be a deliberate act and as such bullying.

Theres obviously no rules that state everyone must like and include everyone else at work, but to go behind your back and report your working hours etc is not on.

I would suggest that perhaps you ask your manager one more time to act on the things he has control over, such as perhaps work emails (you just said messsaging) being used to make fun of you and the reporting of your work to him. Ask the other 2 colleagues if they can confirm or back you up on this.

request that your manager takes action against what he can and if you find he doesnt then go above his head.

good luck