Hi,

I'm not sure if I'm posting on the correct board but I'm hoping someone will be able to give me some help / advice on what to do.

My nephew (age 5) is being excluded from being invited to play with other kids in his class out of school.  The problem started when a mother of a child in his class took a dislike to my sister and ever since she has gone out of her way to make my sister's life a misery and she's doing it through my nephew.  They live in a fairly small village and she has got a little "gang" of mothers who tend to stick together and bitch about other people.  My nephew had a best friend and they went round to each other's houses but this ringleader started inviting his best friend to their gatherings but not my nephew.  My sister struck up a friendship with another mother who's son was being excluded as he had a habit of hitting other children and my sister made a point of inviting this other kid down to play but suddenly this again was spotted by the ringleader and she's now also inviting this child round to play but still not my nephew (and the child who was hitting's mother now turns her back on my sister). 

Anyway, it's got to the point that every other boy in my nephew's class take turns inviting each other round to play and to gatherings but he's being excluded, purely because one spiteful mother seems to be taking pleasure in creating a gang where nobody will talk to my sister. 

While I understand you can't make everyone like you and what people do outside of school is their business, it's got to the point that my nephew is coming home from school very upset and withdrawn and can't understand why he's never invited round to play at other kid's houses or why other kids don't come down to his house (if my sister invites a child, their mother makes some excuse as to why they can't come).

My sister has been to the school for a chat and told them the situation and the teacher said she can't understand why this is happening as my nephew is such a lovely kid.  It's happening not because he's a bad child, but because some woman is on some sort of power trip to control other mothers and to make my sister's life a misery.

My nephew has asked my sister if he can move to another school because nobody likes him at his present school (he seems to be getting on fine with the other kids during school time) and he had obviously mentioned this to another child in his class and the ringleader woman got to hear about it and said to my sister "I hear XXXX is possibly moving to another school, I hope it's nothing to do with me"!!

Sorry this post is such a muddle, I'm so distressed this is happening to my nephew but nobody seems able to do anything about it.

Thanks in advance for any advice you can give.

I wouldnt say its bullying as such, but its certainly hurting your sister and nephew.

What did you sister say the the woman when she asked that? The woman sounds horrible and to use littl3e children in a battle to upset your sister is just so childish.

As you say, you cant make people like you and if all the mums are willing to following the leader in excluding your nephew then theres really not much that can be done unless your sister asks them outright if they have a problem.

Are there any clubs or out of school activities that your sister can take him too? Maybe meeting friends away from the school enviroment would help?