Ok short version or at least I hope any way.

Been with Husband 10 years in total... married 5. Love him intensley, great sex, great man, 2 x kids.

Here is the tough bit -

We both work at the same company all be it different sections in diff offices. We have lots of mutual friends through work and one of which we got friendly with the same time his partner was pregnant as I was.

We pop round to thier house to visit him and his partner and baby every now and again and we go on trips together for the day to take the kids out iygwim

Anyway he msn'd me the other night outta the blue whilst he was still in work, I replied obviously and we got chatting about general things... some how it got on to the conversation about him not having much sex at home as his partner says she always tired. I laughed it off saying that I use that excuse all the time.

I offered to send him some adult web sites that Dh & I use to which he replied yes ok. I sent them.

Later that night he started to ask bout my sex life and what I was in too.... didnt see much in it a this point so answer ed my preference and likes and dislikes. (Looking back I see where this is leading but didnt see it at the time)

Tonight he msn's me again.... thanking me for the web sites and that he had to sort him self out as usual and that he cant stop thinking bout a certain person. I hand a feeling he meant me but wasnt sure... he then announces he fancies me , thinks im great and would love to have sex with me.

Well I said no to sex as im married but stupid fool me flirted really bad... dont know what came over me but I was really leading him on (via MSN) telling him really sexual stuff ect. I now have to see this person in work on monday and I dont know what to say!

Worse thing is He is good friends with DH.... Ive gone and made things wierd now. I feel bad for flirting so bad on my hubby.

How do I face this person with out breaking up our friendship/relationships.

Kate. X.

 

Mommy Graphics

Hi.
The first thing is to pull the plug on the msn chatting. Tell the guy you wish to be involved with anyone other than your husband and that you respect your marriage and his marriage and that it was a big mistake to be involved in the kind of talk you would normally not hold in front of your respective partners.

Tell him as far you are concerned you consider the matter closed and that you hope both couples can remain friends and that there should be no further talk regarding the matter.

You can hopefully refrain from ever discussing such explicit matters with other men. You did sort of lead him on by even sending the links and discussing what should be sacred between husband and wife!

He may agree with you or become ratty as his ego will be bruised. As he is married he is unlikely to break this confidence one hopes.

I think you shouldn't tell your husband as there is little to be gained.

Watch out for the continued come-ons as some men do not like to admit defeat and he may take on this rebuttal as a challenge! You are in danger of starting an affair so run whilst you still can! These are indeed big warning signs... and in future only discuss kids , cartoons, gardening and cooking with male friends!

TSx

Hiya,

I personally dont think the responsibility of keeping friendships and relationships intact should rest on your shoulders. Although i agree with alot of what twiceshy has said IMO i think you should tell your husband, if he finds out from soemone else it'll look like you've got something to hide. Honesty is the best policy, if one of my friends was messaging my partner i'd want to know, and i'd be really cross if he didnt tell me and i found out throufgh someone else, i'd feel humiliated. Dont feel guilty about potentially breaking up relationships, HE made that decision NOT you

Beth xxx

Hi Ethansmum,

I completely agree with Twiceshy on this one - do not tell your husband. Although I say that on the basis that this was a mistake NEVER to be repeated. You don't know why you did, I don't know why you did it but believe me, convincing your husband of that will be alot bloody harder!

I don't see that any good will come of confessing and will could have extremely profound consequences. Just DO NOT DO IT AGAIN. Take all of Twiceshy's advice regarding what you discuss in future and how to approach the subject and then leave well alone.

Love S xx

but dont you think that by keeping it a secre it looks alot more suspicious the if she came right out with it to hubby  and said "he sent me this msn, thought you should know". Surely her allegiance lies with hubby, not this other fella. Wouldnt you want to know?

Beth xxxxx