Hi Jean,

I would just like to pick your brain on signalling to show guys you are interested in them and approachable in those brief impersonal encounters. e.g at the check out/till, at the bus stop, train platform etc. Usually I notice them looking at me (on the rare occasions it is a guy I actually like the look of) but get very nervous and will avoid them because of this nervousness which is totally pointless!! I'm mid 20's too & feel I need to come out of my shell a bit...but not too in your face forward just subtle enough to show them its ok to approach me if they wanted to. Cos I know at times I send out I'm-not-remotely-interested vibe being nervous.

Thanks in advance,

Rainbowz

Hi,

The problem is that what we think is 'signaling' and being obvious, is so far from what is obvious to guys. One study showed that average man picked up that a woman is looking at him after 3 times, and 'thicker' men took up to 5 times!

In my research into flirting in different cultures www.jean-smith.com, I found that London males loved it when women made a move. I advocate being proactive in a natural way. For example, you just happen to be the bar at the same time he is. From there, you can then start a conversation. For example,' It sure is busy in here tonight." Or, if you are waiting for the bus, you can ask the cute guy at the bus stop if a certain bus has gone by yet. I did that and ended up dating the guy for a few months.

Don't think that the signs you are currently sending are actually going through. You have to be a bit more obvious.

Hope that helps!

Jean