My beautiful, clever, funny partner of 10 years, the only man I've ever really loved told me yesterday he didn't love me anymore and he left.

We have 3 children (15 12 and 4) and are to tell them this afternoon.

I feel like I am dying and i am so alone.

Zoe

xxx

Hi,

I totally understand that feeling of devastation. I've never felt the kind of pain that I felt when my husband told me the same thing. It's physical as well as mental. Having children makes it even worse because it becomes imposssible to cut the other person out of your life completely (I have a four year old). The feeling of being alone is horrible especially when everybody around you seem "loved up" or at least content with their partners and I hate the thought that I'm intruding in their lives with my emotions/problems. I'm still gutted about the breakup of my marriage and still full of hurt and upset. I've got to say though that I'm making progress even though it's a very slow process. I think we need to take one day at a time and concentrate on getting through that. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster - my emotions are all over the place and up and down continually. I've only just started posting on this board. I just needed to try to do something about feeling so alone and to speak to other people who understand. I'm sorry that I can't give you any advice on how to make things better for yourself and family but I wanted to say that you're not alone and that other people are going through similar things. I think it helps to be able to vent to people you don't know because friends have their own opinions and tend to be biased in one direction or another. I hope that makes some sense.

Take care

S

((((Zoe)))) I'm so so sorry to hear this.

Did you see it coming at all or was it totally out of the blue?  Is there any chance you can work things out?  Marriage counselling maybe?

Right now you will feel like you're in a really dark and lonely place, but you're not alone.  If you need to chat there's always someone here to listen.  Are your family & friends local?  Lean on them, I'm sure they'll be happy to help you.  I know I found there was more support out there for me than I ever expected.  Your children will be ok, as long as you are happy.  I know you probably feel the total opposite of happy now, but things will improve with time.

Come back and write some more, it will help to get it out of your system.

Look after yourself lovely,

 

   

Hi Zoe,

How are you today lovey?Welcome to the board and I'm sure you'll get the support you need here on the board.

I know it hurts like hell right now and I'm so sorry that you're going through this and have found yourself in this awful situation.

One day at a time,that's the only way to do it in the early days.I know it doesn't feel like it right now but you will get through this,you really will.

How did the children take it?I have four children and when I split with my now ex H they were 11,8,5 and 1.That was a year last Feb.

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Hiya Zoe,

My heart goes out to you, I know exactly how you are feeling it is the worst kind of pain imaginable.

I had a very good friend who was there for me when my ex left me and our 4 children on the 21st Dec 2007 who I could phone at any time of the night or day, I would sit and pour my heart out for hours,  trying to make sense of what had happened and why, could I have prevented it? She turned around and said to me 'some things you will never know the reason why, stop wasting your energy on 'buts' and 'if only's take each day at a time, enjoy the good days and get through the bad days with a little help from your friends'. As painful as it is we have to hit rock bottom sometimes to enable us to come back up, you will hurt but  its like when someone dies, time heals, it's a long long road hun and you will get through this, you have to and one day whether it takes you a few months or even years you will look back and amaze yourself at how strong a woman you have become.

Your children are roughly the same age as mine were, when my ex left mine were 15, 11, 10 and 4. It was very emotional for them, my eldest was full of anger, the youngest became very clingy and still is, but we got through it, we cried lots, talked lots and still do on times.

You will get there hun it just takes time.

Jo xx