Just been thinking about this and wondering what other people's takes on it are. I met my husband when I was 18 and had literally just left school, I'm now 29 and we have two children (aged 2 and 4) so obviously I have changed quite a lot in that time. My DH was 25 when we met and had his own flat and full time job so maybe hasn't changed as much as I have in that time.

You often read about couples "growing apart" as the years go by and I have to admit this does worry me. Do you think it's inevitable or can you "grow together" and become stronger than before?

CL Relationship Polls & Debates

Hiya

I think the success of a relationship depends on 'how' you both grow, rather than both growing together or not if that makes sense?

For example, you can't realistically expect 2 seperate human beings to always want the same things out of life at the same time from the time they meet to the time one of them dies - but if they can respect and work with eachother's wants/needs/growth by communicating and working together, then they can stay together and happy IMO... I think couples who go into lifelong partnership (ie marriage or equivalent) with rose tinted glasses and the romantic view that they'll always want to be on the same path, will have a shock (whether that's in 1 year or 20 years!).

I am 30 and my DH is 28. When we met 8 years ago I was a 22 year old graduate and he was 19 and still sharing bunk beds with his brother! I've been broody all that time, and wanted to get married since about 3 years into the relationship, but he wasn't ready for either until our wedding 10 months ago and as you can see below, I am finally about to have our baby! We are now in the same place but it's taken this long for him to 'catch me up' so to speak. The reason I stuck with him (other than being crazy about him obviously) was that through good communication over the years I knew that he did definitely want to marry me and have a family eventually. Hopefully now we will grow together for a good few years until the next thing comes up, and we will cross that bridge when we come to it (could be about how many children we want, or his career, or mine... who knows).....

I can say now that I always listened to my instincts, and it's been worth waiting for! :-)

K x